Transformation

Artwork: I'll Regret it Either Way by Laney Degrasse

Change is a constant force in our lives but instead of viewing change as a negative force, look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn. Transformation can be powerful. Yes, sometimes change hurts but even in those instances we can view it as a positive force that is molding us into a stronger , more resilient person. 

Admiration

Artwork I'll Regret it Either Way by Laney Degrasse

ad·mi·ra·tion

/adməˈrāSH(ə)n/

noun

1. respect and warm approval.

2. something regarded as impressive or worthy of respect.

3. pleasurable contemplation.

ad·mire

/ədˈmī(ə)/

Verb

1. regard (an object, quality, or person) with respect or warm approval.

2. look at with pleasure.

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.  --Theophile Gautier

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. --W.H. Auden

I have been having a bit of writers block lately, it happens.  When I get the urge to write, one word will often strike me and I will expound upon that word and what it means to me.  When stumbled upon the word ‘admire’ while reading The Grapes of Wrath--if you have never read the book it has been a good read. 

The book tells the tale of the struggles of an Oklahoma family who treks across the country in search of a new life.  Their farm had been taken and they heard about revived hope in California.  The story takes many twists and turns but speaks of perseverance despite the unspeakable adversity the family has faced along their journey.  The word admire came up when the characters are given the opportunity to take some much needed work.  One character says that they would ‘admire’ to get a job.  The word stood out to me because it didn’t seem to fit into the context of the paragraph but when I did some research, I was mistaken.  He ‘admired’ getting a job because with ‘wonder and amazement’ he felt he had been given this opportunity.

I began to think about the connotations of the word in several different contexts and found that admiration is not simply approval but also something that we take pleasure in and/or desire.  I not only care about the people in my life but I also take pleasure in their company.  I have built some very special relationships with my girls and with my closest friends so, I appreciate and admire those people that kept me company and checked in on me during my toughest and lonely days.

I think that all too often these days our society idolizes those who seem to constantly let us down.  I see stories everyday about celebrities who have fallen, broken their vows to their partner, or done something that got them into trouble.  I know that people will disappoint us but why do we look to people in the spotlight and not people who we interact with every day to give our affection and connection?  What is it about celebrity life that we admire and covet?  Stardom and glamour definitely draw us in but why can’t we feel like a star in our own lives?  Is it the monetary value of their worth?  Do you admire yourself?

I once heard, ‘rich is a state of mind not the state of our bank account.’  For me that rings so true.  I am very content with where I am in life but I do not have a bulging bank account from which to draw my happiness from but I do have many rich and fulfilling relationships that bring me joy.  I have never been a lover of money because money changes people.  I might not have the biggest house on the block, the most up-to-date technology, the most beautiful car and/or wear the most expensive clothing but I do not need those things for fulfillment.  In my younger years I did believe that I had to have those things but love does not come with a price tag.  I truly love and admire (take pleasure in) my children, my family, and my closest friends.  I enjoy building bonds and relationships with them.  My admiration does not come from what they can do for me it comes from my complete wonder and amazement of their character.  Another bonus is their ability to keep me laughing, I am a huge fan of having fun and I truly love to laugh with those I admire most.

This week, take some time to think about those that you admire and why.  Write about 10 things that you admire about those arounds you.  I would love to hear about your thoughts in the comments.  If you are interested in building those strong bonds with others, fill out the form (to the right) to set up your free coaching session today.  Let’s talk about how we can work together to help you build those relationships with yourself and with others.

Passion!

Artwork by Laney Degrasse

Fearless

Artwork: Waves Of Life by Laney Degrasse (C)

L have learned that my gut usually is a great guide.  In what ways do you trust your gut?

Faith

Artwork: Darkness Creeping in by Laney DeGrasse (C)

Happiness

Artwork: Happy Little Mistakes by Laney DeGrasse Art (C)

True happiness is an inside job, nothing external can make you happy forever. Find true peace inside yourself, everything you need is already inside.

How do you find happiness?  Is it from external things?  Or internal? 

Spring!

/spriNG/

verb

1. 1.

   move or jump suddenly or rapidly upward or forward.

   
   
2. 2.

   originate or arise from.
3. 
   
4. Spring is nature's way of saying let's party. ~Robin Williams

   Spring breathes new life into the world around us

   No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. ~Hal Borland

1. 
   

Spring has sprung, what are you doing to clean up your surroundings or things in your life?  It is a time of new beginnings and dusting off the cobwebs of winter. 

Think and journal about these things:

• In what areas do you need to clean and infuse new life?
• Where are the cobwebs in your life?  How can you clean those away and breathe new life in those areas?
• What do you need to clean up in your life?  How are you going to do that?
• What needs mental clearing in your head?  What is cluttering your mind?
• Where do you need to spring clean in your surroundings?  Kitchen?  Closet? Gardens?
• How can you freshen up your attitude?
• What is draining your energy?  Make a list and note how you can invigorate these areas.

I would love to hear your responses to these things in the comments (below).  If you are feeling stuck in your life, contact me (form to the right) today to talk about how I can help you to move forward in your life.  The first 30-minute session is free!!

Beauty

Artwork: Hearts on Fire by Laney Degrasse

Learning

Artwork by: Laney DeGrasse

Last night, I started reading the book You’re Not That Great but Neither is Anyone Else. Interesting take on how to use negative emotions to fuel our drive to succeed. The one take away that resonated with me is to stop getting stuck in self-pity and shame and start using those situations to ask WHAT can I learn from this and how can I grow from this situation? I have been stuck and shameful but in reality, those situations made me a better person and drove me in ways that well wishes and compliments could never begin to make me grow. Take a moment in every situation, good and bad, and ask yourself....what can I learn here and how can this drive me to the success that I am seeking? Don’t become ambivalent and just stay there....keep moving forward and drive yourself to grow!

Ambivalence

Artwork by Laney DeGrasse (c)

–noun

–    Uncertainty or fluctuation, esp. when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.

–    Psychology. The coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

–    The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea.

–    Uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow.

–    simultaneous conflicting feelings," 1924, from Ger. Ambivalenz , coined 1910 by Swiss psychologist Eugen Bleuler (18571939) on model of Ger. Equivalenz  "equivalence," etc., from L. ambi-  "both" (see ambi-) + valentia  "strength," from prp. of valere  "be strong" (see valiant). A psychological term that by 1929 had taken on a broader literary and general sense.

Often, if there's something that I want to do, but somehow can't get myself to do, it's because I don't have clarity. This lack of clarity often arises from a feeling of ambivalence - I want to do something, but I don't want to do it; or I want one thing, but I also want something else that conflicts with it. -Gretchen Rubin

Ambivalence is like carbon monoxide - undetectable yet deadly. -Cherie Carter-Scott

I read the word ‘ambivalent’ today while reading an article about commitment and being the ever-enquiring mind I wanted to do some more research.  Of course it is a word that I’ve heard before but digging deeper into the subject made me ever-curious to know more.  In today’s world what is a normal relationship?  Does anyone have a moral compass these days?  We live in a society where whatever feels good goes.  I understand that times change however have we lost our morality in the process?  Do we live by what is in the moment or do we live for what the future might hold for us?  Are we so afraid of things that we begin to allow ambivalence to cloud our judgment?  Why do we constantly search for something better?  Are we so afraid of commitment that we are constantly pushing things away from us?

I was reading the blog Commitment Phobia and the author states that this is something that is deeply rooted in fear.  This Phobia is a crippling fear of losing our options and/or of making bad decisions.  Those that carry this fear are so afraid of making bad decisions that they are afraid to commit to anything, especially relationships.  Of course they crave good relationships however they avoid taking ownership of their own feelings and avoid ties and commitments.  The desire to have a meaningful relationship is there but fear leads them to keeping everyone at arm’s length.  Since we live in a sexually promiscuous society we encourage a false sense of intimacy in our lives and live for what feels right in the moment, the instant gratification replaces the satisfaction of a committed and everlasting love.  I can see how this is not all bad because it prevents one from jumping too quickly but it also can push those away that we love the most.  “Commitment phobia is rooted in the belief that when we love someone, you are responsible for their feelings rather than our own.”  This is a profound statement because I do think that we have to consider the feelings of others when we make decisions but I am not sure that we need to be responsible for how others feel.

Everyone wants to believe they accepted and cared for but when we allow our fears to push people away we are always searching for a temporary repair to fulfill our emotional needs.  We allow our physical desires to replace a lasting and fulfilling relationship which in the end destroys us and keeps us searching for the next thing.  Commitmentphobia is a word coined by authors Steven A. Carter and Julia Sokol in their book Men Who Can’t Love (1987).  It is a term used to describe a fear of commitment referring to those who avoid long-term relationships and/or marriage.  It might seem to only affect relationships but often it begins to spill over into other areas of our lives.  Commitment phobic’s claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic relationship but they can never seem to find the right partner and/or maintain a lasting relationship.  They crave what they fear most:  love and connection.  It is a paradox because no matter how badly they want to commit their fear leads them into destructive patterns thus in the end destroying them and their partner emotionally.  They might feel trapped and/or that they will lose their freedom if they make a long-term commitment.

One potentially misleading aspect of commitmentphobic behavior is that the partner who is actively running away from commitment is not the only one with a problem. In fact, commitmentphobic behavior includes "settling" for inappropriate partners, pursuing unattainable partners, and engaging in instant relationship mergers as well as fleeing from what might have appeared to be a stable romance. Any persistent behavior that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitmentphobic.

Authors Carter and Sokol handle this circumstance by describing "active" commitmentphobia, which is most strongly characterized by running away from relationships, and "passive" commitmentphobia, which is most strongly characterized by longsuffering devotion to an active partner who is running away, longing for a partner who has run away, and fantasy reconciliation scenarios.

I guess all of this research comes from my lack of understanding about the way people can go from one person to the next without thinking twice about what is going on internally.  We jump from one partner to the next without any emotional connectedness these days.  Of course we live in a society that sends us mixed messages because we see movies depicting the long-term marriage but the divorce rates are soaring.  Why can’t couples seem to make it work?  Personally (and this is MY opinion), I believe that it is so easy to leave and move to the next relationship.  It’s easier to start something new than to work with what you have.  We’re not satisfied with what we have because we get bored; look at what someone else has and want what they have (coveting!); see something that LOOKS better to the eye…whatever the reason, our society makes it OK to sleep around and relationship-hop.

I prefer to be in a relationship with someone who values me and my beliefs.  I am very easy-going however there are some points that I will just NOT bend (cheating, boundary violations, and lies are deal breakers).  We all seek comfort in a sincere person AND we all still want to possess some sense of freedom within some boundaries.  We cannot be in a relationship and loose our sense of self but we CAN be committed to that person and have a level of trust that is unwavering.  Loyalty is such a huge part of our relationship and when someone crosses the threshold of distrust then they are opening a door that is difficult to close (this is a whole different subject that I will write about another day!).

I have always been the type of person that evaluates the pros-and-cons when venturing into a relationship but I do not judge what the future might hold (with someone) by the actions of others from the past.  I do not hold the mistakes of others against what one might do to me in the future.  I also do not walk into a relationship with the fear that it might end, that’s just dooming it from the start.   I believe that we all have faults and make mistakes, no one is perfect, it is just the severity of the mistake and how it affects those we love that matters.  Carl Jung believed that with every positive action/thought we have an opposing negative thought (http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jungtype.htm).  I do believe that no matter how good we might be on the surface we still have some amount of dark thinking, it is how we react and handle those thoughts that matters.  We all want to make right choices when choosing a romantic partner so we have to evaluate the personal characteristics before we align our lives with them.  Their ability to maintain optimal behavior during the course of the relationship determines the quality of the relationship as a whole.  Again, people do make mistakes but the foundational beliefs are what matter in a partner.  We cannot allow the ‘warm fuzzy’ to cloud our judgment because that leads to our own emotional demise. 

DISCLAIMER:  I do believe that there are some relationships that just are NOT meant to be.  When it comes to destructive relationships I do believe that there should be an end to that.  No one should have to put up with physical and/or mental abuse (or both).  In this writing I am speaking in terms of a potential healthy and fulfilling relationship.

BE

Artwork by Laney DeGrasse

Intuition

in·tu·i·tion

/int(y)o͞oˈiSH(ə)n/

Noun

• The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. 

Synonyms: instinct, intuitiveness.

• A thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.  Synonyms:  hunch, feeling (in one's bones), inkling, (sneaking) suspicion, idea, sense, notion.

You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind. ― Roy T. Bennett

Intuition is like reading a word without having to spell it out. A child can't do that because it has had so little experience. A grown-up person knows the word because they've seen it often before.” ― Agatha Christie

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. –Albert Einstein

Women know intuitively when they are being devalued. ― Robyn Silverman

Would it be great if we had an internal navigation that could tell us the direction to go when we feel lost or unsure about a situation!?!  Even if you do not hear that electronic voice giving you directions, we all have an internal compass that leads and directs…IF we chose to listen.  This voice guides, prepares, and warns us; we just need to learn to listen and tap-into this guide.  Often, we learn to fear or mistrust this voice because of life experiences that led us to doubt ourselves and to worry that our intuition betrayed us.  Whether it was someone, something, or a situation of our own making that made us feel this way, we can still tap back into it and learn how to listen.  There are three ways to find direction in your life: intellectually, emotionally, and intuitively.  If we hope to make the best decisions, we need a balance of intuition to bridge the gap between our instinct and reason while taking time to make sense of the situation. 

Have you ever made a decision and immediately started to feel sick, maybe even started to perspire? That is the body’s way of telling you that the decision your analytic mind came to is at odds with your instinct.  I made a series of choices that went against my inner voice; because of these choices, I no longer trusted my ability to make good decisions.  After much introspection, I learned that it was not my inner voice that lied, it was my intellect and emotions that betrayed me.  I have since learned how to reconnect to the power and to trust the process with very little worry or fear.  I found that when I ignored that voice I carried a lot of anxiety and distress but when I trust what my gut and body tell me, I have peace every time.  I had to re-learn how to listen and to reconnect with myself and to learn to be still and quiet the external chatter so that I could hear what my intuition was trying to tell me. 

Many things can distract or stifle intuition, constant busyness, stress, and burnout are rated right at the top of reasons that our intuitive process if out-of-whack.  We all have that intuitive sense when we meet someone or are in a situation and we know deep within us if that person or situation is good for us or not.  We have to disconnect, step away from distractions if we want to re-awaken and trust in our intuition--we have to pay attention.  Slow down and listen—take a walk, sit quietly, or take a bubble bath.  Allow your mind to slow down and be quiet.  Tap into and listen to that gut feeling instead of dismissing or doubting it.

Meditation, mindfulness, and yoga have given me the ability to focus on being in the moment, filtering out all distractions, and to hear my intuition loud and clear.  Taking time alone helped me to get in touch with my intuition.  I found that solitude gave me the chance to think creatively and to connect to my deepest inner sensations.  I started meditating and using other mindfulness practices to help to filter out the mental chatter and to objectively think; this helps me to make the right decision that I can trust and gives me a sense of peace moving forward. One great thing about these mindfulness practices is that it has helped me to know myself again.  I do not discount my analytical mind or my critical thinking skills, I just listen to my gut feelings instead of dismissing or discounting it.  I found that using all of these skills together have given me a system of checks and balances and helped me to stop talking myself out of what my intuition knows to be true.

My mindfulness practices help me to FEEL strong emotions.  I went through a long period of feeling numb…no joy, no sad, no contentment, nothing….NUMB.  I was disconnected from myself in every way imaginable.  By learning to feel, even the negative emotions, it allows me to process them and to understand the source of these emotions.  Strong negative emotions tend to cloud my judgement, I feel out of sorts…not myself, when I am upset.  If I am feeling angry, I know that this is an ‘iceberg emotion’ so there is something lying underneath this feeling.  Iceberg emotions are what is on the surface but not truly an emotion that tells me what is going on.  I have found that when I am upset, I tend to do a lot better processing these emotions if I mindfully accept and let go of these emotions—if I ‘stuff’ them I tend to dwell on them and overthink the situation.  I try to find something positive even in the negative, sometimes it is more difficult than others but there is ALWAYS something positive to be found there.

I journal a lot so, I jot down when something does not feel right; this also helps me to step back and to think empathetically, creatively, and peacefully.  I pay attention to what my body is telling me, if I feel tense or uneasy I try to tap into the reasons why I am feeling this way.  I have learned that listening to how my body feels around people or in my surroundings is important.  If I start feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach, tenseness in my shoulders, or anything that is not quite right—that is my body telling me to stop, think, and figure out what is going on. 

I am very empathetic—some might call this corny or kooky—but I can sense what others are feeling.  If I am tuned in to my own emotions, I can observe and listen to what others are feeling.  The scientific term for this is empathic accuracy, it is simply an awareness about what others are thinking and feeling.  I read body language and the tone of their voice—this is difficult to decipher via email or text but even then, if I pay attention, I can understand the underlying messages.  I find that if I do this then, I can form and nurture deeper connections with others.  This also helps me to find the source of any negative or strong emotions that I feel towards others.

Finally, I learned to pay attention to my dreams--our dreams are our unconscious telling us to pay attention.  I keep a journal next to my bed so, if I wake up I write it down immediately.  I do a bit of research to find-out what my dreams are trying to tell me.  Science has proven that our dreams are the way that our unconscious mind sends us messages.  Our dreams are often manifestations of our intuition sending us a message.  Some of my dreams are nonsense but I still question the source of the dream and what I can learn from it. 

Yes, this might be a lot to process but stop to think about how you can tap into your intuition.  Grab your journal and this week, journal about these questions:

• How do you listen to your intuition?
• What does this feel like in your body?
• How does your body react?  Are you tense?  Peaceful?
• What does this look like?
• If there is any risk involved, do you trust yourself and your intuition?  Write five things about this situation that feel risky.  How do they feel? 
• Do you challenge the risks?  How does that feel?
• Be calm and listen.  Do you hear your intuition speaking to you?  How?  Write it down.
• Is the right decision for me at this time?  Why or why not?
• What is my goal in making this decision?  How does this feel in my body?  Can you tap into your intuition to understand what it is saying?
• What is one small step that you can take today to move closer to your goal?  Write down one thing that you can do every day to move you closer to your goal.

This week, take time to sit quietly and listen.  Trust, and listen to the sensations in your body. Let them be your inner guides to your authentic self.  Do not be harsh with yourself, do not beat yourself up, do not be critical, just listen.  Be patient and journal about what you are thinking and feeling.  Learn to still your mind and be patient, tap back into and trust your intuition through that stillness and peace.  Journal about what you see, feel, hear, and notice in your mind and body.  Listen.  Trust.  Believe.  Leave a comment (below) about the time that you spent with yourself.

If you are having a difficult time, contact me (use the ‘contact me’ form) to set up your free coaching session to discuss how we can work together to find your way.  Intuition is a powerful force of the mind that can help you to make better decisions.  Learning to listen is a skill that will help you to find your way, to find your voice.  I can help you to learn new habits and to find your way back inside to trust yourself again. 

On a side note, I am working on putting together a free journal for you.  It will be published in the coming weeks so, if you follow me on social media or follow my blog via email (sign up to the right) you will be the first to know!  Exciting stuff coming....do not miss it!!

Happy Monday y’all! This week I will be helping you to tap back into your intuition and learn how to listen to your inner voice. Let’s work together to tap back into and to trust your inner voice. Blog will post later today....stay tuned. 

Next!

My topic this week has been about how failures are not altogether bad or an end. Failure is just a beginning, keep trying, stop beating yourself up, and keep moving forward. Check out my blog to learn how to use failure to your advantage. Next week, I think that I’m going to talk about intuition....stay tuned, Monday is THE day to learn more about how to hone your intuitive process. 

Contact me today to book your free coaching session. Let’s work together to get your goals and dreams working for you!! 

GO!!

Falure

/ˈfālyər/

noun

1. lack of success.
2. an unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing.
3. the omission of expected or required action.
4. a lack or deficiency of a desirable quality.
5. the action or state of not functioning.
6. a sudden cessation of power.

antonyms: success

If you want success, you need to double your rate of failure

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.  ― John Barrymore

No. I didn't fail a thousand times. I learned a thousand things that didn't work. --Edison

Let’s retrain our thinking....failure is not a bad thing, it is a learning opportunity. Yes, failing hurts and often feels like a defeat but learning to process and FEEL those feelings is never a bad thing. Train yourself to process those feelings and learn how to use them in your favor rather than holding on to them and allowing them to become a permanent resident. Don’t stuff them, allow them to flow through you and find something positive in every situation. Not all of our hopes and desires are meant to BE in our lives, these are temporary circumstances showing us that it is not meant for us. 

Probably one of the most important parts of life is figuring out how to own negative emotions. The ability and willingness to feel negative emotions can be very difficult and it can bring up huge levels of resistance. We need to experience negative feelings in order to realize when we are actually feeling happy.  There is no happiness without the other side of the emotion. Sometimes forget that and we try and push away any kind of sadness, displeasure, fear, or defeat. We try to pretend that our lives are happy….always, and we all know that is NOT how life works.

There is a lot of information out there teaching us how not to fail or how to succeed.  I feel like failure has gotten a bad rap and we need to think and talk more about failure and how to do that properly. Most people never pursue or achieve their dreams because they are afraid to fail.  They will never take the first step because they do not want to feel embarrassed about what did not work.

I always ask WHY are you afraid to fail?  What’s the harm in failing at something?  Instead of trying to solve the issue, why not think about the underlying belief associated and cut that out by the root.  Understanding WHY helps you to define the issue and understand the root cause.  Failure has more to do with not living up to our own expectations (see definition #3 above) or someone else not meeting our expectations of them.  Those things happen but do not lower your standards in order to escape failure!  THAT does not create a life that you want to live, Get out of the comfort zone and deal with the REAL issue.

If you are feeling like  you are not alive, or truly LIVING your life…WHY?  Are you stuck in a cycle of fear?  Are you not putting yourself out there because you afraid to FEEL when something does not work out?  If you decide to get out there and do not meet your own expectations, what are you going to decide what that means?  Half of the battle is labeling our thoughts associated with things.  If we retrain our brains to THINK that something is disappointing then we will experience negative emotions associated to that action.  If you are avoiding something because you are afraid to fail, you have the option to think about those situations differently. 

When we do not meet our own expectation, we can THINK about it in a positive light instead of feeling like we are defeated.  When we train our minds to think differently then, our actions will also be changed.  When I think about failing as an opportunity to learn, grow, and try again then we will think of failure as progress instead of disappointment.  I believe that we succeed only as a result of failing….maybe even failing MANY times.  When I treat myself with admiration and take care of myself instead of beating myself up then failure means that I am trying new things and learning new ways of doing things.  If am willing to fail then I have a better chance of success in the long run!

Think about failure in this way, when a child is learning to walk they fall a LOT.  They do not just give up and quit!  They keep going, they keep trying, and ultimately they are on their feet walking, running, standing…..you get the picture.  They push themselves to get back up and learn how to walk!  If they stop, then they would not build the coordination and strength to learn how to walk.  So, through their failures they get strong enough to take off!  They build the confidence and willingness to fail in order to build their competence to succeed. 

Find confidence in your future and do something that you have never done.  If you fail, do not give up, do it better the next time…EVERY TIME.  Build your confidence, try new things, embrace change, and GET OUT THERE and be willing to fail.  Failing is not something to avoid, it is something that we have to include IN our lives in order to grow and learn/try new things.  Think about it in a way as something we want to move towards instead of something that we want to avoid.  It is a skill that needs to be developed.

Stop telling yourself that there is something wrong with you or that you are not worth it.  Everyone is valuable and your actions will affect others in some way.  If you are not taking action, try to dig deep to figure out the reason.  Pay attention to how your body feels in every situation, your intuition will tell you.  Try to notice if there is tension or peace inside your gut when you are thinking about something or talking to someone.  Be willing to accept what your body is telling you and feel the feelings….then move.  Do not stay stuck in negative emotions, life is lived outside of our comfort zone.  Step out, kick up  your heels, and learn HOW to fail….THAT is the ultimate success!  You only fail when you stop trying.

If you are feeling stuck, or fearful contact me for your free session to see how we can work together to help you to move forward.

Acceptance

Last April I took a trip to the beautiful Smoky Mountains of Tennessee to try to reconnect with myself. That trip resulted in so much more than I could have ever imagined! I met some amazing women 💕, learned a lot about myself, and found my strength. The rock (bottom left) is a physical representation of some of the things that were weighing me down. I carried those things inside. Yes, I was afraid to let them go but once I did, the feeling of freedom was transformative. 

That rock lives at the bottom of the lake now, those things are no longer weighing me down. Sometimes we have to admit to ourselves that we are broken in order to heal. I felt so much shame for not living up to what society says that I should be but there is no shame in being myself, right where I am. We all have had our battles but carrying around the burdens weighs us down. It is impossible to move forward without being honest with ourselves and admitting that we’re in a negative space. I learned that if I start feeling negativity or stress creeping in, I can ‘change my shape’ and FEEL those feelings but also let go of things that did/do not serve me. Letting go is empowering, not failure. 

We fail ourselves if we hold on to negativity and let those things destroy us from the inside out. There is power in transparency not just with others but with ourselves too. 

Acceptance is how we move forward. 

Smile!!

Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you'll start to see a big difference in your life. Yoko Ono

Start smiling at yourself then pass it on.....it's contagious!!  Smiles never get old, never go out of style, and always present a good vibe (IF they are genuine).