Lost, Part II

In my entire life, any time I've ever lost something, I've gotten something even better going around the next corner.  It's like one door closes and another door opens.  –Wayne Dyer

I have written about that feeling of lost before but I wanted to take a moment to dig a little deeper into that feeling and how I got lost in the darkness.  For me, I was living IN the past, not being present in the ‘now,’ and had no hope for the future.  I lost hope.  I lost my courage to endure--I lost myself.  The business of raising kids, being a wife, being an employee and student, being a friend, plus the other many hats that I have worn in my life I somehow lost me along the way.  I forgot how to feel.  I forgot how to look in the mirror, think that I was beautiful, and love that person more than anyone else around me.  I forgot what I liked and why I liked those things.  I forgot the feeling of excitement to wake-up in the morning.  I was numb; I did not know how or WANT to feel anymore.  My past ruled me, my day-to-day was mundane (at best), and my relationships suffered.

By many accounts, my life has not awful but my thinking about it WAS awful.  I used that as an excuse to make bad choices and to justify the blame and anger that was building inside.  I made a long series of bad decisions to try to put a Band-Aid on my feelings.  This did not (and will never) serve me.  I feel like I was just existing, not truly LIVING, and there was very little joy in me.  I did not know how to break out of the cycle or to turn things around.  I found many great resources, started journaling, found a new love for yoga, and started to feel a twinkle of ‘alive’ again.  It was not and has not been an easy journey but it is definitely worth every tear, heartbreak, and all of the dark feelings. 

I will continue to talk about my story, I am not ashamed anymore because it is MY STORY and that story molded me into the person that I am today.  Do I have problems?  Yes.  Do I make mistakes?  Yes.  Do I make wrong choices (because there is NO bad choice)?  Yes.  These things no longer plague my every waking thought because I know how to handle them….in my mind.  I know how to change my viewpoint and how to trust the flow and plan of my life. 

Do you wake up every day wondering how you can make it through just ONE more minute?  One more hour?  One more day?  Does the pain, sadness, and emptiness seem to be a dark cloud that you cannot seem to shake away from your life?  Contact me today, I can help!  If you are ready to wake up every morning with excitement and positivity, contact me.  Let’s work together to create solutions in your life.  Let’s work together to devise a plan for your life.  Let’s work together to create solutions for your problems.  Let me help you to find your way and teach you how to FEEL again!  Let’s work together to find you WHY!  Email me at anissal@yahoo.com to learn more!