Intuition

in·tu·i·tion

/int(y)o͞oˈiSH(ə)n/

Noun

• The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. 

Synonyms: instinct, intuitiveness.

• A thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.  Synonyms:  hunch, feeling (in one's bones), inkling, (sneaking) suspicion, idea, sense, notion.

You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind. ― Roy T. Bennett

Intuition is like reading a word without having to spell it out. A child can't do that because it has had so little experience. A grown-up person knows the word because they've seen it often before.” ― Agatha Christie

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. –Albert Einstein

Women know intuitively when they are being devalued. ― Robyn Silverman

Would it be great if we had an internal navigation that could tell us the direction to go when we feel lost or unsure about a situation!?!  Even if you do not hear that electronic voice giving you directions, we all have an internal compass that leads and directs…IF we chose to listen.  This voice guides, prepares, and warns us; we just need to learn to listen and tap-into this guide.  Often, we learn to fear or mistrust this voice because of life experiences that led us to doubt ourselves and to worry that our intuition betrayed us.  Whether it was someone, something, or a situation of our own making that made us feel this way, we can still tap back into it and learn how to listen.  There are three ways to find direction in your life: intellectually, emotionally, and intuitively.  If we hope to make the best decisions, we need a balance of intuition to bridge the gap between our instinct and reason while taking time to make sense of the situation. 

Have you ever made a decision and immediately started to feel sick, maybe even started to perspire? That is the body’s way of telling you that the decision your analytic mind came to is at odds with your instinct.  I made a series of choices that went against my inner voice; because of these choices, I no longer trusted my ability to make good decisions.  After much introspection, I learned that it was not my inner voice that lied, it was my intellect and emotions that betrayed me.  I have since learned how to reconnect to the power and to trust the process with very little worry or fear.  I found that when I ignored that voice I carried a lot of anxiety and distress but when I trust what my gut and body tell me, I have peace every time.  I had to re-learn how to listen and to reconnect with myself and to learn to be still and quiet the external chatter so that I could hear what my intuition was trying to tell me. 

Many things can distract or stifle intuition, constant busyness, stress, and burnout are rated right at the top of reasons that our intuitive process if out-of-whack.  We all have that intuitive sense when we meet someone or are in a situation and we know deep within us if that person or situation is good for us or not.  We have to disconnect, step away from distractions if we want to re-awaken and trust in our intuition--we have to pay attention.  Slow down and listen—take a walk, sit quietly, or take a bubble bath.  Allow your mind to slow down and be quiet.  Tap into and listen to that gut feeling instead of dismissing or doubting it.

Meditation, mindfulness, and yoga have given me the ability to focus on being in the moment, filtering out all distractions, and to hear my intuition loud and clear.  Taking time alone helped me to get in touch with my intuition.  I found that solitude gave me the chance to think creatively and to connect to my deepest inner sensations.  I started meditating and using other mindfulness practices to help to filter out the mental chatter and to objectively think; this helps me to make the right decision that I can trust and gives me a sense of peace moving forward. One great thing about these mindfulness practices is that it has helped me to know myself again.  I do not discount my analytical mind or my critical thinking skills, I just listen to my gut feelings instead of dismissing or discounting it.  I found that using all of these skills together have given me a system of checks and balances and helped me to stop talking myself out of what my intuition knows to be true.

My mindfulness practices help me to FEEL strong emotions.  I went through a long period of feeling numb…no joy, no sad, no contentment, nothing….NUMB.  I was disconnected from myself in every way imaginable.  By learning to feel, even the negative emotions, it allows me to process them and to understand the source of these emotions.  Strong negative emotions tend to cloud my judgement, I feel out of sorts…not myself, when I am upset.  If I am feeling angry, I know that this is an ‘iceberg emotion’ so there is something lying underneath this feeling.  Iceberg emotions are what is on the surface but not truly an emotion that tells me what is going on.  I have found that when I am upset, I tend to do a lot better processing these emotions if I mindfully accept and let go of these emotions—if I ‘stuff’ them I tend to dwell on them and overthink the situation.  I try to find something positive even in the negative, sometimes it is more difficult than others but there is ALWAYS something positive to be found there.

I journal a lot so, I jot down when something does not feel right; this also helps me to step back and to think empathetically, creatively, and peacefully.  I pay attention to what my body is telling me, if I feel tense or uneasy I try to tap into the reasons why I am feeling this way.  I have learned that listening to how my body feels around people or in my surroundings is important.  If I start feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach, tenseness in my shoulders, or anything that is not quite right—that is my body telling me to stop, think, and figure out what is going on. 

I am very empathetic—some might call this corny or kooky—but I can sense what others are feeling.  If I am tuned in to my own emotions, I can observe and listen to what others are feeling.  The scientific term for this is empathic accuracy, it is simply an awareness about what others are thinking and feeling.  I read body language and the tone of their voice—this is difficult to decipher via email or text but even then, if I pay attention, I can understand the underlying messages.  I find that if I do this then, I can form and nurture deeper connections with others.  This also helps me to find the source of any negative or strong emotions that I feel towards others.

Finally, I learned to pay attention to my dreams--our dreams are our unconscious telling us to pay attention.  I keep a journal next to my bed so, if I wake up I write it down immediately.  I do a bit of research to find-out what my dreams are trying to tell me.  Science has proven that our dreams are the way that our unconscious mind sends us messages.  Our dreams are often manifestations of our intuition sending us a message.  Some of my dreams are nonsense but I still question the source of the dream and what I can learn from it. 

Yes, this might be a lot to process but stop to think about how you can tap into your intuition.  Grab your journal and this week, journal about these questions:

• How do you listen to your intuition?
• What does this feel like in your body?
• How does your body react?  Are you tense?  Peaceful?
• What does this look like?
• If there is any risk involved, do you trust yourself and your intuition?  Write five things about this situation that feel risky.  How do they feel? 
• Do you challenge the risks?  How does that feel?
• Be calm and listen.  Do you hear your intuition speaking to you?  How?  Write it down.
• Is the right decision for me at this time?  Why or why not?
• What is my goal in making this decision?  How does this feel in my body?  Can you tap into your intuition to understand what it is saying?
• What is one small step that you can take today to move closer to your goal?  Write down one thing that you can do every day to move you closer to your goal.

This week, take time to sit quietly and listen.  Trust, and listen to the sensations in your body. Let them be your inner guides to your authentic self.  Do not be harsh with yourself, do not beat yourself up, do not be critical, just listen.  Be patient and journal about what you are thinking and feeling.  Learn to still your mind and be patient, tap back into and trust your intuition through that stillness and peace.  Journal about what you see, feel, hear, and notice in your mind and body.  Listen.  Trust.  Believe.  Leave a comment (below) about the time that you spent with yourself.

If you are having a difficult time, contact me (use the ‘contact me’ form) to set up your free coaching session to discuss how we can work together to find your way.  Intuition is a powerful force of the mind that can help you to make better decisions.  Learning to listen is a skill that will help you to find your way, to find your voice.  I can help you to learn new habits and to find your way back inside to trust yourself again. 

On a side note, I am working on putting together a free journal for you.  It will be published in the coming weeks so, if you follow me on social media or follow my blog via email (sign up to the right) you will be the first to know!  Exciting stuff coming....do not miss it!!

Silenced

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. -Alice Walker

Silence about a thing just magnifies it.  -TENNESSEE WILLIAMS, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

I am reading two books and I would like to share some thoughts about them.  These books are How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women and Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.  Both of these books have one thing in common, how women are silent about many things that we should not be afraid to say.  Some of this silence is because of our own shortened self-confidence while some of it comes from stereotypical views of the world.  In the workplace, women tend to stand in the background holding us back from filling higher-ranking positions.  In our marriage, we silence ourselves because we feel as though we are unheard or overburdened. 

How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women contains some  straightforward advice for women (and men) regarding recapturing our marriages through effective communication.  Women need their emotional needs to be met by their spouse but often do not speak-up to tell their spouse what they truly need.  Healthy marriages are built upon a healthy foundation of communication and mutual respect; we must continually restore our marriage everyday in order to preserve the sanctity and relational intimacy of our relationship.  We must communicate authentically with our spouse in order to ensure that our marriage does not fall into a state of disrepair.  I know this on a personal level because I tend to stay silent when I should be sharing the deepest parts of me with my spouse.  I am silent because I am afraid and I was raised in a way that taught me that women should grin in bear it; this is not real life and we should not be silent just to keep the peace.

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead speaks about the role women play in the workplace and how we tend to sit in the background and not use our voices for fear of criticism or being thought of as too direct.  Women are making great strides to break through the proverbial glass ceiling but we need to speak up more often to see the workplace culture change.  We have to do this for our daughters that will be moving into these positions in the future.  We have to speak up and realize that a passive attitude toward our career is unacceptable.  We have to ask the tough questions and demand that our voice be heard because we ARE qualified to share our opinions otherwise women will continue to go unheard. 

I share these thoughts because I personally struggle with that internal voice telling me that I am not good enough, not qualified, or not valued enough to speak up at home and in the workplace.  I need to continue to build my internal courage to tell myself that I can have those conversations that will build my marriage and my career.  I do not want to be silent anymore.  What are your thoughts?