Peace

[pees]

noun

1. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, especially in personal relations.
2. cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.
3. freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility; serenity.
4. a state of tranquility or serenity.

Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. ~Ronald Reagan

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. ~Buddha

For me, the last few years have been an arduous journey inside.  I lived in controlled chaos for many years so peace was not something that I knew well.  I started meditating and that helped.  I started yoga and that helped.  Nothing seemed to really FIX the issue until I heard the word equanimity.  I said….hmmmm, WHAT is THAT!?!?  Me, having an unquenchable thirst for knowledge went on a quest to find out and to internalize this equanimity.

The dictionary definition of this state is: evenness of mind especially under stress.  But it is not only used in stressful situations but also in times of joy.  Yes, times of JOY.  At times, we let our lows get the best of us.  We wallow in self-pity and resentment.  Those happy and joyful times need to be kept in check too.  Yes, enjoy and embrace the joy and contentment in those times but also find a sense of peace there too.  Do not allow your happiness to overcome you and think that this is a fix to retaining peace.

Peace is about learning how to embrace the highs and lows.  Learning how to control our thinking about both ends of the spectrum.  Emotions are to be felt and controlled.  We need to FEEL and internalize the lessons that the ups and downs teach us.  Let’s explore some ways of thinking in both extremes.

The highs:  if you land that big job, find the partner of your dreams, get a huge influx of money….these are things that SHOULD be celebrated BUT do not let your emotional high let you step outside the boundaries that these things set. 

• The big job, do not be so arrogant that you are conceited. 
• The partner of your dreams, do not take them for granted for ONE second. 
• The huge influx of cash, be wise in your spending.

The lows:  you crash your car, your romantic relationship falls apart, your bank account is negative. 

• If you crash your car and survived….you’ve won.  Your life is worth more than anything tangible on this earth. 
• If you relationship falls apart, what lessons can you learn?  Did you spend enough time investing in them?  Of course, in a relationship we can only control ourselves so, if your partner was the reason that the relationship failed…..what lessons can you learn from that?  Did you overlook qualities that should have been deal-breakers in the beginning?  Did you allow yourself to be treated badly?  Did your partner take YOU for granted? 
• If your bank account is negative….how are your spending habits?  Are you budgeting and controlling your money (money is meant to be controlled not spent)?  Are you leading an extravagant lifestyle that is beyond your salary?  Are you paying too much for things that you don’t need?  Now, I do understand living paycheck-to-paycheck and I have lived needing things that I could not afford BUT don’t just sit back and take it….get out there and make a change.

It’s all good in theory but actually DOING and FEELING is a different story.  It took me a LONG time to get to a place of peace.  Am I there ALL of the time, NO!  I do, however, have trained myself to THINK differently and to FEEL my emotions instead of stuffing them away until they are a volcano about to erupt.  Of course, life is 50/50 so learning how to use your emotions is an important part of enjoying EVERY day that you are given on this earth.

If you’d like to learn some new ways to think and actually learn how to FEEL, fill out the form on the right to book a free coaching session.  Let’s work together to build a life that you love!