Solitude

–noun

1. the state of being or living alone; seclusion: to enjoy one's solitude.
2. remoteness from habitations, as of a place; absence of human activity: the solitude of the mountains.
3. a lonely, unfrequented place: a solitude in the mountains.

Man loves company even if it is only that of a small burning candle.  ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.  ~Colette

For the past several weeks I have been virtually alone.  I get up in the morning and have coffee...alone; I go to work, come home....alone; I have dinner....alone.  I have tried to think of things to do but there is no laundry, very few dishes and when I clean it stays that way.  I am not looking for sympathy but thinking about the importance of those in my life.  What’s with all of the hype about solitude?  I am a very social person and I enjoy having those people I love around me.  I like to laugh and enjoy their company!  Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when I want to run away to some deserted island somewhere and weave baskets out of palm leaves BUT for the most part I truly enjoy my people’s company.  I’m not a big fan of being by myself, I guess because I am so used to the controlled chaos of my home.

During this forced bit of aloneness I have had a chance to get some things done around the house.  I have quite enjoyed the ability to start a project and see it into completion without the occasional interruption of making dinner, putting clothes in the dryer or any other daily chore BUT I miss having conversations with those I love.  I like to hear about how their day went, I like laughing with the kids and The Man.  I can enjoy the daily routine because I like simple things and I like things that (some) people take for granted.

I guess that I’ve had some time to take inventory on my life and evaluate what does and does not work.  I think that the uproar of the last few years have made me somewhat appreciative of the simple and routine.  I like the road that life has taken and I can truly say that I am very happy with my life.  Some might look at where I am and wonder what I was/am/have I been thinking but I can assure you that I have given great thought to every detour that I’ve taken.  I am in a place where fate has drawn me, I’m sure that some can appreciate that?  I think that once the chaos begins again I might be singing another tune but I highly doubt it.  Laughing and enjoying the people that I value most is something that brings me great joy.  I like the ability to randomly hug the girls and The Man because I want them to know every day that I love them.

Sometimes when we are in the daily grind of life we sometimes take the details for granted.  We worry about the socks on the floor, the dishes in the sink or the unmade beds but those are so minor in the scope of things.  I do not love it when my house is in disarray however I do love those who make it that way.  I like building meaningful relationships and I want them to know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be here for them no matter what.  When life’s turns take them down unknown paths I will be there to hold onto them and reassure them that I am not going anywhere.  Never leave any good thing left unsaid and never make them guess where your heart is.  My motto is....never keep them guessing!