Monday, March 12, 2018

Transparent




trans·par·ent

/transˈperənt/
adjective
adjective:

  1. (of a material or article) allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen.
  2. easy to perceive or detect.

  1. having thoughts, feelings, or motives that are easily perceived.

synonyms: obvious, evident, self-evident, undisguised, unconcealed, conspicuous, patent, clear, crystal clear, plain, (as) plain as the nose on your face, apparent, unmistakable, easily discerned, manifest, palpable, indisputable, unambiguous, unequivocal

antonyms: ambiguous, obscure

Stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learn. Work hard, and never give up on your dreams, even when nobody else believes they can come true but you. These are not cliches but real tools you need no matter what you do in life to stay focused on your path. ~Phillip Sweet

Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free. The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun. ~Don Miguel Ruiz

I try to keep it real. I don't have time to worry about what I'm projecting to the world. I'm just busy being myself. ~Demi Lovato


If you have never heard the song True by Spandau Ballet, take a minute to listen.  For me, this song brings back a lot of peaceful and great memories.  When I did a search about the meaning of the song I found that it had been written as a love song to someone who did not know the true thoughts of the author.  Because it was a new relationship, he did not want to be foolish but he wanted her to know how he felt.  When we are in a new relationship it is difficult to say things that you might want to say for fear of being rejected--rejection is difficult to swallow but so is living behind a mask!  For me, I will live transparently no matter what happens.  I know that this is the only way for me to live in peace with myself.

Truth is a deep-seated and sincere desire to be loyal, faithful and steadfast in character—to live in reality and to be factual without variation.  If you are not a genuine person then are you truly living your best life?  Are you being true to yourself?  Why the need to hide behind a mask and be someone you are not?  Plain and simple….fear.  Fear that someone will not like you for the person that you are or are not!?  Fear is a gripping emotion and if we allow it to take root in our soul then we will never become the person that we WANT or NEED to be.  If you are searching for a relationship to find fulfillment in your life, then it will be difficult to find true happiness—first, you have to be true to yourself!  In reality, speaking truth is not only in words but in our actions too. 

Lies are not only the untruths that we tell, there is more than one way to tell a lie--lies by submission and lies by omission.  We can speak an untruth easily but when we hold back then we are also lying.  We might think that not saying something is not lying but it is!  Lies by omission are those things that we hold inside wishing that we’d said but never did!  We should never leave any good thing left unsaid because showing people your true, authentic self is the only way to life.  Do not live regret and wish that you’d said something that you felt about someone.  When your children, family, friends or partner does or says something that you have a good thought about….SAY IT!  It’s never too late to say something good to someone and we should never hold anything back for fear of rejection! 

Using your voice might be difficult, it was for me because that was not how I was raised.  I always heard, keep that to yourself because you might hurt their feelings.  Well, if they hurt MY feelings should I not say something?  Of course, holding those things back only creates resentment.  Speak up in a constructive way and let others know your thoughts and feelings.  It might be something that you have never done but start small, open your mouth and start seeing the results of living transparently.  Growth takes time and effort, it is difficult but it is also necessary.  When adversity comes my way, I stopped the self-pity and asking WHY ME!  Instead, believe that the situation will squeeze something great out of you!  When we are going through calamity we seem to look at the dark side of things but instead try to see something positive coming out of the circumstance. 

We should not compare ourselves, our story, or our situations with others but when things look the darkest try to put it all in perspective and seek something good instead of remaining in the black cloud!  We have to live a transparent life in order to obtain the happiness that we wish to someday have—being honest with ourselves is important.  We cannot keep wish for the next good thing until to happen to make us happy!  Happiness comes today, right now…in the middle of the darkest hour you can make a choice to be happy because it comes from within!

Truth, honor, respect and integrity…the four pillars of a sold relationship.  I write so much about relationships and building a good foundation because over the years I have learned that nothing is more important than great relationships.  I have relinquished my power in some relationships but I will not allow that to happen in the future, I lost myself.  I want solid foundations with everyone in my life and if I say too much about my feelings then I guess that person was not supposed to be IN my life.  This goes not just for romantic relationships but also with friends and family.  Of course, I am not fond of being single but my life is rich and full without a partner and a great partner will only enhance the wonderful life that I live!  In that or any relationship I must have complete truth, honor, respect and integrity before I will be happy.  I will not change myself for someone else, tried that and it was a miserable existence.  I must always be myself, this might seem like a no-brainer for some but for me, it was what I felt that I had to do to keep my relationships happy—but I was not. 

It was crazy for me to realize that I was enough, that I was just fine the way that I was built, and that someone could love me just as I am.  It was a long road to healing because I used to allow myself to be treated any way just to keep the peace, I cannot do that because I held a lot of resentment and discontent inside.  Those feelings began to overtake the happiness and eat away at the relationship.  My past was, at times, dark place, full of lies and deceit and cluttered relationships.  I learned that living transparently is the best option for me.  It goes without saying that everything is perfect for me, sometimes troubles come but I do my best to be honest and open.  Living transparently allows me to feel my emotions without judgement, I do not try to fix myself or what I am feeling but I do try to understand why I am feeling in such a way.  The creation from this process is a power that comes from within.  It is a peace and freedom of one’s self. 


Transparency is intentionally baring your soul to the world by showing your true self to others.  Some hide their true selves for fear of rejection, lack of self-confidence, broken-hearts, or lack of fulfillment in life; there are many reasons a person will hold back who they are.  When a person hides behind this veil, they are robbing themselves of a happy and contented life.  Transparency reveals the character of a person--fear, rejection, low self-esteem, and broken hearts (to name a few) create uneasiness within us and this leads to internal negative thoughts.  These things tend to drown out our essence; the same place transparency grows from.  Transparency removes feelings of uneasiness and drowns out the negative internal voices; this process builds power from within and helps to create positive living.

If you are interested in learning how to live transparently, contact me to book your free session.  Learning to live in this way should be done with a trusted source, a person that is non-judgmental and will support your growth—this is how I am with my coaching clients (refer to the Life Coaching link, above).

This week try these exercises in your journal and reflection time:

  • Note the things that prevent you from living a transparent life.

  • What actions can you implement to become more transparent?

  • What benefits do you think you would obtain by living transparently?

  • What risks are you willing to take to live transparently?

Come back and share in the comments.  I would love to hear how things are going in your personal growth.

   

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