Perseverance

Artwork: Endless Void by Laney Degrasse Art ©

per·se·ver·ance

/pərsəˈvirəns/

Noun

Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

synonyms: persistence, tenacity, determination, staying power, indefatigability, steadfastness, purposefulness

Our lives are defined not by the challenges we encounter, but by how we respond to those challenges.  - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Circumstance does not make the man: it reveals him to himself. -James Allen

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.   - Unknown

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. - Unknown

In the book The On Purpose Person: Making your Life Make Sense by Kevin W. McCarthy the author talks about a man who became so wrapped up in the outer things of life that even though he seemed to have all of the success in the world all of it lost its luster and he became angry and depressed. I have been drawn back to this book so many times and I take away something different each time I read it.  If we forget what is driving us we tend to lose sight of the person that we are inside and get so wrapped up in the daily routine of life that we lose our passion for life.  In the past, I have given parts of myself to others that I should not have given.  I gave away my joy and allowed others to be in charge of my happiness.

I am at a place in my life where I understand that nurturing and caring for myself is THE most important thing that I can do for my loved ones.  I do not need someone to affirm my value, I do not need someone to acknowledge my good qualities, I do not need a romantic relationship in order to fill fulfilled—I do those things for myself.  I do not need for someone to tell me what to think or feel, I am secure in my own skin and I know my value.  In a romantic partnership, I want someone to support, explore, and encourage me to be a better person.  Past failures make if difficult for me to put myself out there and the fear that unending commitment is a thing of the past.  I will not go through another relationship disaster so finding a person that I trust enough to take down that road is daunting at best.  I think that relationally I am healthy enough to say no to the one’s who just don’t fit the bill.  I will not settle and I will  not give away parts of myself that are meant to be kept.  I will not allow someone’s opinions to transfer to my own, I will not be that woman for anyone.  I would not be the person that I am today without the trials and tribulations, I have learned to appreciate the tears as much as the happy times.

I guess standing at a crossroads is a place where we learn new things about ourselves.  We grow and develop new qualities to share with the world.  Adversity might push us to the crossroads but we could be standing there by choice too.  Every choice we make results in two outcomes, there are things that we did not choose and the things that we DO choose.  Living with the collateral damage of both sides of that choice can be challenging.  The thing with choices is what will you be gaining and/or giving up by taking that direction?  Is the loss worth the gain?  I guess that you cannot be afraid to lose the game in order to win the big prize so sometimes we have to make difficult choices in order to change directions and get our lives on track.  Sometimes the results are not immediate but a series of decisions and it might take time to see the fruits of our labor.  Think of this this way, gardens are not beautiful as soon as you plant the seeds, it takes time for plants to mature and grow so it takes patience and perseverance to see results.

This week, try writing about that big (or little) decision that you have had a difficult time making.  Will taking a chance land you on your feet or flat on your back?  I guess that if passion drives those choices then you’ll land on your feet every time.  If fear is the driving force behind NOT making the decision, what is behind the fear?  Loss?  Gains?  Change?  If and when you make the decision, where will you be?  Make a list of the possible good and bad about the decision.  Which decision is best?  Which decision has the least amount of risk?  If taking a risk is not comfortable, why?

If you need some assistance persevering and learning how to make the best decision, contact me today and set-up your free coaching session.  We can discuss how my services can give you some new ways to break away from the fear and how to move forward.

This is one if my favorite poems about taking risks:

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.