Losing it!

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you 
always got.

In 2002, I found myself tipping the scales at 189 pounds…at 5’4” I was not healthy.  I began to see the results of my overeating, pre-diabetic, high cholesterol (needing meds), feeling lethargic, and just a generally unhappy mood.  I was eating my emotions, I was depressed, sad, lonely, and stuck in a very unhealthy relationship.  I decided that I had to change things, for myself and not for anyone else because I did not like the person that I saw in the mirror.

I began slowly, walking every morning, eliminating my trigger foods, and making emotional and environmental changes.  I dropped a few pounds but it always seemed to come back with a vengeance.  I decided that I had to make some MAJOR changes, otherwise I would not have the ability to truly be happy…not with my weight but with my life in general.  I started back to school, got a job, and left my co-dependent relationship.  It was NOT easy and VERY scary to be on my own with three young children but the major contributing factor in my weight-gain WAS the co-dependency, food was the only thing that I could control.  I left because of my girls but found that my life improved just as much as theirs did.

Since 2002, my life has taken some major roads.  I have lost almost 50 pounds, graduated with two Bachelor ’s degrees, and found someone that supports me, THE one.  No, my weight loss was not the only thing that was important to me but it was near the top simply because I wanted to thrive in life rather than just tread water.  Yes, I was breathing and I did have things to be thankful for but I was not thriving, not because of the extra pounds but because of the weight of dependency.  I had to learn how to depend on myself before I could make healthy choices and stick to a workout regime.  Today, I depend on those workouts because they give me energy, stamina, and an overall great feeling.

Finally, I wanted my girls to know that living in an unhealthy relationship and living an unhealthy lifestyle is not conducive to living a happy life.  Yes, the separation was difficult for them but they can look back on that time and understand why I made the choices that I made…for them to be free from seeing/living that example.  They see what a healthy relationship is like (now) and know that you do not have to be dependent on anyone for your happiness.  Lessons that I had to learn the hard way.  The weight loss was more than on the scale….it carried over into all parts of my life.