Contentment

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels. ~ Bertolt Brecht

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all. ~Lin Yu-t'ang

Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor. ~Benjamin Franklin

It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are. ~James Mackintosh



I was reading a post on The Art of Love and Intimacy yesterday about how to keep your love relationship alive and strong. In the post the author suggests that as humans we all crave learning and stimulation because that is just how our brains are wired. Sometimes being human means that we are pleasuring seeking because it gives us pleasure and causes a release of dopamine in our brains. In relationships we often grow complacent and begin to get bored with our current state. As our relationships blossom and mature we need to ensure that we infuse our relationships with fun and excitement in order to keep them from floundering and falling into ruin.


We all want to have a meaningful life and being aware of our own mortality gives us the urgency to find significance. When we come to grips with our own humanity it makes us count our blessings and be more aware of the fullness in our relationships (or lack thereof). We all have the ability to love and when we have the opportunity to be in a loving romantic relationship it gives our lives purpose and meaning. Love is something that we cannot contain within ourselves but something we have to give away.


Romance has taken on a new face in our culture; we no longer value marriage and family as in years past. Courtship in America has become more sexually driven and less emotionally intimate. We see the whirlwind courtships on television and movies and expect our own relationships to be full of that kind of excitement. In reality sometimes life is full of twists and turns but learning how to weather the storms is what makes our relationships endure the test of time. It is important to build a strong bond and share not only life’s experiences but our thoughts and feelings. If you find your relationship in a rut then communicate with your partner instead of looking elsewhere for someone more exciting. Take the time to stimulate the relationship and do something out of the ordinary. Do something that excites and pleases your partner instead of waiting for them to take action. We must keep learning new things about ourselves and our partners in order to feel fully alive. When things become predictable we become restless.


True joy and contentment comes from knowing that you are secure and can share deep meaningful things with your partner. There will always be someone prettier or more handsome, taller or shorter, more exciting, have more money or whatever you look for in a partner. Contentment comes from within, so remember what attracted you to your partner. Stop searching for excitement elsewhere and enjoy what is right in front of you. Be committed to keeping the spark alive, not just when you find yourself in a rut but every day!