Worry

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.  - Mohandas Gandhi

If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?  - Confucius

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.  - Leo Buscaglia

Follow

Follow your heart

Author: unknown

Follow your heart wherever it takes you,
and be Happy
Life is brief and very fragile
and only loaned to us
for awhile.

Wake up every morning
with the thought
that something wonderful
is about to happen.

Forgiveness

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. ~Catherine Ponder


To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~Lewis B. Smedes

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time. ~Sara Paddison



Allow me to preface this writing that forgiveness is NOT something FOR anyone other than us. It does NOT release anyone from their wrongdoings but releases us from the destructiveness of bitterness. We cannot fully move on from ANY hurtful situation until we forgive.  I know this because I used to harbor a lot of unforgiveness which only created anger within me. It was a source of inner conflict which allowed the root of bitterness to take a huge toll on me. I was very unhappy and tried to medicate myself with food, shopping, busyness or anything else that might fill that void I was feeling. The bitterness made me angry, unhappy and made all of my relationships shallow and almost meaningless.  I was hollow and apathetic.

One Sunday morning I was sitting in church when the Pastor began to speak of forgiveness. I was struck by the power that unforgiveness had over me. It allowed others to control my joy, they had power OVER ME and they didn’t even know! At that moment I realized that I had to take control of myself and release their hold on my life. I did not have to confront them or tell them that I forgave them because they didn’t even know about the feelings I had. When I chose to forgive my life changed completely!

The release opened my heart and mind and allowed me to regain control of my life. Only then did my relationships begin to have depth and compassion. I learned that no one should have the power to control what I am feeling. Happiness is my own responsibility and I didn’t need them to do or say anything. I released them by writing them a letter and then throwing the letter away. There are many ways to get the feelings out but this was the best way for me. I needed to regurgitate my feelings in a way that helped get them out of my heart.

I now forgive others on the spot and I do not allow the root to take hold inside me. This allows me to have a sense of control over my feelings which also creates freedom within me. If you’re harboring unforgiveness take some time to think about what it’s doing in your life. Write it down, scream in the shower, type letters or whatever it takes to release the hold it has on your life. It’ll feel like a weight has been lifted from you, believe me I lived with that burden for many many years!

Sex

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~Matt Groening, Life in Hell


There are two kinds of sex, classical and baroque. Classical sex is romantic, profound, serious, emotional, moral, mysterious, spontaneous, abandoned, focused on a particular person, and stereotypically feminine. Baroque sex is pop, playful, funny, experimental, conscious, deliberate, amoral, anonymous, focused on sensation for sensation's sake, and stereotypically masculine. The classical mentality taken to an extreme is sentimental and finally puritanical; the baroque mentality taken to an extreme is pornographic and finally obscene. Ideally, a sexual relation ought to create a satisfying tension between the two modes (a baroque idea, particularly if the tension is ironic) or else blend them so well that the distinction disappears (a classical aspiration). ~Ellen Willis, "Classical and Baroque Sex in Everyday Life" (1979), Beginning To See the Light: Pieces of a Decade (1981)



 Because some people shudder at the word sex I have been trying to think about how to approach this subject for some time now. Sex is a natural thing but our society has put so many limitations and restrictions on it that we sometimes are afraid to even talk about it. On the other end of the spectrum there are those who go to extremes to try to break away from societal labels. No matter what your sexual orientation or beliefs are as an adult we have to learn to embrace our fantasies and try to overcome the cultural conditioning that society puts on us. I’m not saying that one should go beyond their own boundaries, do anything that hurts another emotionally or physically or sleep with multiple partners, what I am saying is that we sometimes need to rethink the way we think about sex.

I am reading Partners in Love and Crime by Randy Hurlburt and he approaches this subject in a very respectful way that made me think about limitations and taboos that are silently imposed by outside forces. If we are to be open and free within our relationships we have to learn to share our thoughts, including those of the sexual nature. We sometimes imprison ourselves into thinking that sex is not something to be enjoyed with our partner. We sometimes develop an inner rage that manifests its self in different areas of our lives if we are not comfortable sharing things with our partners. If we are seeking emotional closeness then we have to share our thoughts in a supportive way. Things shared in a one-on-one relationship that cause no harm to the other person should be something discussed openly.

Our ability to build a meaningful relationship comes when we are comfortable enough to share things with our partner. It might take time to reach the level of comfort and it should be something that we take slowly but when you begin to open up you will feel a sense of freedom within the boundaries of your own relationship. Emotional growth comes when we test the limits we impose on ourselves and begin to be open to new possibilities. We all want a sense of freedom balanced with a close connection in our relationships so sometimes thinking outside of the box is necessary.

Be sure to visit the Partners in Love and Crime website to get your own copy of the book. It is an excellent read, I’ve learned a great deal already and I’m only on chapter 9.

Gratitude

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.  ~Oprah Winfrey


Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.  ~Brian Tracy

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust



He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.  ~Epictetus


There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.  ~Albert Einstein
 
We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.  ~Cynthia Ozick
 
The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.  ~Richard Bach
 
 
Be Thankful

~Author Unknown

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.


Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.


It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Limits/Boundaries

Limit:
-noun
*the final, utmost, or furthest boundary or point as to extent, amount, continuance, procedure, etc.: the limit of his experience; the limit of vision.


-verb (used with object)
*to restrict by or as if by establishing limits (usually fol. by to ): Please limit answers to 25 words.
*to confine or keep within limits: to limit expenditures.

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.~Albert Einstein

Boundary:
-noun, plural -ries.
*something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line.

Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures. ~Edwin Louis Cole


I finished the book Still Alice by Lisa Genova and began reading Partners in Love and Crime by Randy Hurlburt. The books are completely unrelated however the relationship factor in both of them made me think about limits and boundaries. Still Alice is about a Harvard Psychology professor with a blossoming career who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. The book Partners in Love and Crime is a book about the nature of romantic relationships. The main character in has a supportive and loving family built upon years of understanding and compassion. When she is diagnosed she is not the only one living with the disease, her husband and children have to walk the dark path of Alzheimer’s too. I will not tell you the end of the book (because it’s worth reading if you have not already) but the book shows how having a strong relationship with our partner can help us endure through the mountains and valleys of life.


The author of Partners of Love and Crime encourages us to build a strong foundation and bring extraordinary love into your life. He suggests that the underlying fear that their needs will not be met is the most compelling reason that people do not want to be in a committed relationship. We live by socially imposed rules that create a prison in our minds and a trap for our mate. The social rules sometimes conflict with our basic desires which tend to create unrealistic expectations in our relationships. The author explains how to balance our secret desires with freedom creating a connection with our mate that will continue to create excitement and closeness. Instead of imposing limits on our relationships we need to be open and share with our partners.


Of course there is a slight difference between limits and boundaries. Limits are restrictions whereas boundaries are lines that we will not cross. Limits bind us but boundaries keep us from accepting things that we cannot allow. We can push our limits but boundaries are lines that should not be crossed. For example, one of my boundaries in romantic relationships is lying. I will not accept being lied to because it makes me make decisions on incorrect information. I would rather hear the truth and work through the issue rather than being told half-truths or lies. Limits for me are things that stretch my comfort zone, things that I never considered and/or never thought of doing. I can easily test my comfort zone however crossing the boundaries is something that I cannot accept. Of course (as I always say) we all make mistakes and those things can be forgiven with time but if the offense is repeated it no longer becomes a mistake.

Dream

A Dream For You


If I could dream
The dream I wanted too,
I would close my eyes,
And dream a dream for you.

I would give you all the world,
That you are deserving of,
And to you I would give
My everlasting love.

I would see to it,
That you were never sad.
And nothing in your life
Would ever happen bad.

I would wish for you,
All things would go your way,
And you would always be happy,
Each and every day.

In my dream
You would stay
Just as beautiful
As you are today.

Life for you would be as perfect
As the blueness of the sky,
And no one would ever hurt you,
Or ever make you cry.

I know it's just a dream,
But if dreams could come true,
I would close my eyes,
And dream a dream for you.


Richard Netherland Cook
Copyright, 2007

Source: A Dream For You, Dream Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=11690#ixzz0uACUeUat

Forever

by Kristi Lynn

I've known you for only
a short period of time,
but I feel as if
I've known you forever.

I tremble with joy
at your every touch.
The feel of your hand taking mine -
I want you to hold it forever.

I glow with happiness
every time you're near.
I want you near me now,
I want to be with you forever.

My knees grow weak
in your loving arms.
I want to stay there,
I want you to hold me forever.

My body melts
with every kiss you give.
Just the thought of your lips on mine -
I want you to kiss me forever.

My heart jumps
to know how much you care.
Knowing that it is so much more -
I want you to love me forever.

Belong

My Heart Believes In You

by Stewart Bradshaw


I kept my head up high,


and then you came my way.


I have been hurt so many times.


My heart filled with so much pain.


but now that pain has gone away.


For I have found a place I want to be.


This place I see is with thee.


For in your arms I have felt and seen,


a wonderful feeling that I cannot believe.


A safe haven in your arms just for me.


Now I give my heart to thee.


For my heart believes in you.

Grace

–noun

1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. favor or good will.
4. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior.
5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
6. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.


Grace is free sovereign favor to the ill-deserving. ~Benjamin B. Warfield

Grace has been defined as the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul. ~William Hazlitt

Without grace beauty is an unabated hook. ~French Proverb


After writing yesterday about sincerity I began to think about grace and how it all ties together. By definition grace is something that no one deserves but is given freely as a gift. Grace is unmerited favor and pardons us from us from our actions. I know that I have not arrived at perfection so I need grace daily. Grace does not only come from God or any other deity in which you believe but it also comes from those around us and given by us. Grace should not be given simply because we want it in return but given freely and without any strings attached.

I personally believe that everyone is entitled to some bit of grace simply because life is tough these days and we all are human and prone to mistakes. We all could use a break now and then, so next time you’re thinking about getting angry, think about giving the gift of grace instead of anger. You’ll feel a whole lot better about the situation.

Sincerity

–noun, plural -ties.

freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; probity in intention or in communicating; earnestness.


Sincerity makes the very least person to be of more value than the most talented hypocrite. ~Charles Spurgeon

. . . the highest form of affection is based on full sincerity on both sides. ~Thomas Hardy


Of all the evil spirits abroad at this hour in the world, insincerity is the most dangerous. ~James Froude


It has been a few days since I last wrote because life has taken on a new dimension. The Man is home and we’re working on getting our basement finished; class is winding down to the final weeks so term papers and final exams are looming on the horizon; The Princess arrived home yesterday and Tootie will be home today. In preparation for all of this we have been super busy and I have not had the time, energy or inspiration to blog. However, while reading last night (I’m reading Still Alice by Lisa Genova) and doing some reading this morning I started to think about sincerity. I wondered what sincerity really means to me and how it affects my relationships. I am always trying to become a better version of myself and I believe that being heartfelt and sincere are key elements in my relationships.


In years past I found myself to be somewhat emotionally numb, shutting out past hurts and regrets. This was a very unhappy time in my life and I tried to anesthetize myself with food or anything that would take-away the emotional upheaval that I was feeling. During that period in my life I was not living an authentic life, I had just been going through the motions. I was not free from deceit, hypocrisy or duplicity as the definition of sincerity states. I was not communicating my true feelings, I wore a happy-mask everyday but inside I had a bleak outlook. My sincerity took a back seat to my unhappiness.


I tell this story because I have learned that there is no way to be happy unless you are truly sincere with yourself AND with your loved ones. We cannot tell half-truths or say things that we do not mean. I have been lured into things by people’s lip-service and it makes me feel cheated because I was not able to make decisions based on truth. When you give your word to someone or talk with them about something you have to be completely open and honest, it hurts others when you back-out of things that you’ve told them. I know now not to say things that I do not mean and/or volunteer for things that I cannot do.

If you truly love someone then you have to be honest from the beginning. I understand the many stages of relationships and we all want to be accepted in the infatuation stage but saying things that you don’t mean can be hurtful in the long run. Tell those that you love how you really feel and do so with a sincere heart. Of course we all make mistakes but insincerity is a difficult pill to swallow.


64 Ways to Say I Love You: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/60_ways_to_say_i_love_you

Thankful

Change

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.  - John F. Kennedy

Study the past, if you would divine the future.  - Confucius

Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.  - George S. Patton

Contentment

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels. ~ Bertolt Brecht

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all. ~Lin Yu-t'ang

Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor. ~Benjamin Franklin

It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are. ~James Mackintosh



I was reading a post on The Art of Love and Intimacy yesterday about how to keep your love relationship alive and strong. In the post the author suggests that as humans we all crave learning and stimulation because that is just how our brains are wired. Sometimes being human means that we are pleasuring seeking because it gives us pleasure and causes a release of dopamine in our brains. In relationships we often grow complacent and begin to get bored with our current state. As our relationships blossom and mature we need to ensure that we infuse our relationships with fun and excitement in order to keep them from floundering and falling into ruin.


We all want to have a meaningful life and being aware of our own mortality gives us the urgency to find significance. When we come to grips with our own humanity it makes us count our blessings and be more aware of the fullness in our relationships (or lack thereof). We all have the ability to love and when we have the opportunity to be in a loving romantic relationship it gives our lives purpose and meaning. Love is something that we cannot contain within ourselves but something we have to give away.


Romance has taken on a new face in our culture; we no longer value marriage and family as in years past. Courtship in America has become more sexually driven and less emotionally intimate. We see the whirlwind courtships on television and movies and expect our own relationships to be full of that kind of excitement. In reality sometimes life is full of twists and turns but learning how to weather the storms is what makes our relationships endure the test of time. It is important to build a strong bond and share not only life’s experiences but our thoughts and feelings. If you find your relationship in a rut then communicate with your partner instead of looking elsewhere for someone more exciting. Take the time to stimulate the relationship and do something out of the ordinary. Do something that excites and pleases your partner instead of waiting for them to take action. We must keep learning new things about ourselves and our partners in order to feel fully alive. When things become predictable we become restless.


True joy and contentment comes from knowing that you are secure and can share deep meaningful things with your partner. There will always be someone prettier or more handsome, taller or shorter, more exciting, have more money or whatever you look for in a partner. Contentment comes from within, so remember what attracted you to your partner. Stop searching for excitement elsewhere and enjoy what is right in front of you. Be committed to keeping the spark alive, not just when you find yourself in a rut but every day!

Commitment

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.


It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions.


And the actions which speak louder than words.


It is making the time when there is none.


Coming through time after time, year after year.


Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things.


It is the daily triumph of intergrity over skepticism.


~Author Unknown

Persona

The TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can be painful. ~Unknown

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. ~ Katherine Mansfield

The high-minded man must care more for the truth than for what people think. ~ Aristotle

Last week I wrote about the mask that we sometimes wear. The Persona is used in social encounters and characterizes the version of yourself displayed to others. When we want to create an impression we interact differently therefore the persona exhibits what we wish to be rather than who we really are. The word an Italian word derived from the Latin per sonare which means to sound through, basically it is the mask that we display to others. Carl Jung believed that humans have two perceiving functions (sensation and intuition) and two judging functions (thinking and feeling). These functions characterize our psychological type which controls our conscious behaviors. The part of yourself that we do not wish to display sometimes dominates our unconscious behavior and is displayed in failed relationships, addictions, phobias and sometimes through mental disorders.


All of this ties into an article (Being Honest With Yourself) that I was reading today on Oprah.com. The author suggests that we go through our lives hiding our true selves just to fit in. We suppress our true self and loose authencity in the process. Of course we all want to fit in and be liked but if you’re truly honest with yourself, HOW can anyone truly like us if they don’t know the person we are? Is that an authentic and fulfilling relationship? How can we be ourselves and still be liked?  When we project a false self to the world we become bored with relationships and try to keep our true selves hid by running away from those we love and who love us.


I do have things in my past that I am not particularly proud of but I do not try to mask and hide but I have tried to learn and grow from those experiences. I think that over the years I have learned that trying to be someone that I am not is just too much work. I have learned to like me and I hope that those who profess their love for me understand that what you see is what you get. I lived too many years trying to be someone I was not and trying to hide the mistakes I made but now I have come to terms with those actions and they no longer plague me. I think that confessing those things to myself and forgiving myself was a big part of the process. I am not proud of my mistakes but I am also not too proud to share them with others either. I hope that someone can learn something from the things that I’ve done and not make the same blunders in their own lives.


I have by NO means arrived at perfection but I think that I have learned to trust my intuition (more) and follow my heart. Before making a final decision these days I do a lot of thinking and weighing the options before reaching a conclusion. Of course sometimes the decisions are based off of things that others say and/or do, both of which can be unpredictable. Our lives are not a series of predictable events but a sequence of things that are sometimes out of our control. We have to learn to trust what our gut tells us and learn to live with the consequences. You can’t beat yourself up for mistakes but use them as a springboard to a good decision the next time. Share imperfections because those are what make us all unique. Personally, I want to know authentic people who are not afraid of their scars…..because it’s those scars that made them who they are.

Ordinary

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

I like her because she smiles at me and means it. ~Anonymous

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone. ~Robert Brault


Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. ~Author Unknown


Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. ~ William Shakespeare


A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  ~ Mignon McLaughlin


Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.  ~Mark Twain

Today I was reading an article in Psychology Today titled When do I Get to be Myself? It made me think about the many stages of romantic relationships and how many believe that a true and long-lasting love is drudgery. We forget that when we grow together sometimes there are growing pains but for the most part we can be happy and fulfilled in a long-term relationship. Change can be difficult but it is something necessary in order to grow individually and collectively as a couple. The truth is that the more committed we are to our partner the more fulfilled we are personally. The beauty of long-term commitment is that we can rely on another person to be there during the good and bad times.

The ‘falling in love’ or infatuation stage is what we are led to believe what relationships are all about. In fact, this stage is very short lived and when the ‘warm fuzzy’ goes away then we become bored and start to think that the love is lost. This is not the case because during the attachment phase is where the beauty truly begins. During this phase is when the true intimacy begins and attachment grows. When we sense a deep love we feel peaceful, comfortable, secure and nurtured. Of course the infatuation stage is important but if we do not move beyond that ‘warm fuzzy’ then we can never experience the true beauty of deep love. If you want to be truly happy in your relationship you have to move beyond what is set before us in movies and television and nurture a deep connection. This is the connection that will bring you a sense of joy and caring that will be unlike anything you could have hoped or dreamed of. Sometimes the ordinary is where we get lost but this is actually where the splendor begins and where we find true long-lasting affection.


I found an excellent blog that has some outstanding insight about the intricacies about every aspect of romantic relationships. Take a minute to browse though some of the dynamic posts on The Art of Love and Intimacy.

Freedom

Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~Thomas Paine

In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth. ~George Washington

Freedom is never free. ~Author Unknown

Love

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.  - Kahlil Gibran


I argue thee that love is life.  And life hath immortality.  - Emily Dickinson

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.  - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms, each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.  - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life

With gratitude, all life appears as a blessing - without gratitude, all of life is perceived as a burden.—Unknown

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. ~Danny Kaye

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. ~Lillian Dickson

To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach. ~Havelock Ellis

Life: It is about the gift not the package it comes in. ~Dennis P. Costea, Jr.

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. ~Diego Marchi

The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss. ~Thomas Carlyle

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. ~Emily Dickinson

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. ~Charlie Brown

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. ~Henry Van Dyke

Unbeing dead isn't being alive. ~e.e. cummings



Yesterday I heard the song Secret to Life by Faith Hill and it got me to thinking: what is the secret to life? Philosophers, poets, psychologists, writers and great thinkers have tried to figure it out. Personally, I think that the secret to life is the secret OF life; we have to take each day as it is given to us and love it for everything we can. There is no one secret to life because the secret is different in everyone’s life.


There were so many great quotes about the meaning of life but I chose the ones that had more to do with LIVING rather than simply counting the days. We have to have a meaning and purpose for each day, just going through the motions is not enough. I had several great mentors who taught me that it is not the ‘stuff’ in our lives that matters it is the people who will be touched by our actions.


My Granny was the most wonderful woman that I have ever known. She worked hard but she also took time to ensure that those she loved KNEW she loved them. She spent her days serving and making everyone around her feel important. When she passed away the church was filled to capacity and then some. She had touched so many people in her life. She was a genuine person who lived her life from the inside out. Of course, I didn’t realize that until my adult years but I certainly do not take any day for granted now. I hope to one day grow up to be like her, I’d love to give her a hug today and tell her how very important she was to me and how much I love her. They broke the mold when they made her; she is and will always be my hero.


The others who touched my life were a former Pastor and his wife. They were outstanding examples of how to build and maintain great relationships. They didn’t pick and choose from those who drove the best cars, lived in the biggest houses or had bulging bank accounts but they genuinely love everyone. They taught me that people should be cared for simply because they are breathing. They made me believe in the hope of eternity and the goodness in everyone (no matter how hidden it might seem). These two precious people fed many good things into my life that I will always treasure. They gave me some important rules to live by that I will apply to my daily life as long as I have breath. They are just quality people that I will forever appreciate.


Mentors are important in our lives. They take our hands and show us the way when we’re not sure which way to go. They are bold enough to correct us when we’ve really messed things up but still care enough to give us a hug when it matters. They are friends even when we are not friendly.  I appreciate their lessons and hope to one day pass some of what I’ve learned along to someone else. I by NO means have arrived at perfection but I strive each day to live my life to the fullest and make each day count. Even on the bad days there is something to take away and learn. Perseverance and a little bit of patience are what make the days seem a little brighter. Smile when you don’t feel like it, squeeze those you love tight and treat each day as a treasure. Time is the only indispensible resource we have.

Diet

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets. ~ Dolly Parton (My Life and Other Unfinished Business)

What you eat standing up doesn't count ~ Beth Barnes

Never eat more than you can lift. ~ Miss Piggy

Ok, I know that D-I-E-T is a 4-letter word and (if you’re a woman) it is TRULY a thorn in your side.  I grew up a Southern girl eating fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy with a side of fried okra washing it down with sweet tea--dessert consisted of crust (made with LARD) topped with fresh strawberries (doused in sugar).  A little fried chicken and sweet tea does a body good!  My Granny would get up every morning and make (real) bacon, fried eggs with biscuits and occasionally she’d make her own YUMMY homemade gravy.  Of course, when you’re a 10-year-old farm girl you can consume a million calories in one sitting and burn them all off playing with frogs and making mud pies.  Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of 40 I am a little more reserved with my fried chicken eating....I still make sure to have sweet tea around for giggles though.  

My Granny was not an obese woman but a woman with some curves--I might add that there is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her.  I, myself, have tipped the scales to epic proportions but that was more about comfort eating than sustaining life.  My long-time friend and I had a conversation tonight about our changing bodies and about how sickly we allowed ourselves to get just to fit into our size 2 jeans.  I am quite happy with myself today, I am not stick-thin but I’m a girl with a few curves (it’s the bumpy curves that I’d like to get rid of!).  My #2 daughter (who is 14) is talking about going on a diet because she’s fat!?  She is by NO means overweight but she is also not a stick figure either.  In recent weeks I have dropped a few pounds simply for convenience rather than necessity.  My meals have consisted of Cheerios for breakfast, a quick sandwich or whatever I can grab for lunch and cheese and crackers for dinner.  When no one else is around it’s all about easy and convenient, no big mess to clean up after making a 10 course meal (not that I do that anyway).  I might add that all of these life-sustaining meals were done while standing over the sink (again, less mess to clean).  

I am not downplaying the importance of good health or the state of obesity in this country, I am just wondering how we got so obsessed about the size of our midsection?  I have been on my share of diets, most of them were more about the ability to NOT eat for days and then gorge myself until I wanted to...well, you know.  I think that the more we eat the less we get up and move.  As those close to me know, I am NOT one to sit idle....I am always doing something.  I don’t beat myself up when I don’t make it out to walk but I make up for it by doing things that are actually FUN, like going on a hike with the kids and The Man.  I’d rather be out killing two birds with one stone....getting a little exercise and having fun with the family.  We live in a world of Lean Cuisine and Jenny Craig but when we try to do what the celebrities do we fail miserably.  In reality we all know that they work out for 10 hours a day while eating Saltine crackers and cauliflower.  I rather enjoy a good meal where we all sit around the table and talk about our day, laughing about our own silliness.  

As I said, I am quite happy with my place in life.  I am content with my size and I am not ever going to starve myself for vanity’s sake again.  I think that as long as I am comfortable in my own skin that the occasional Southern-fried meal won’t kill me!  Enjoy your Holiday BBQ's and go light on the mac & cheese (JUST KIDDING!).

*I can hear the hate mail now...please be nice!*