Consistency

–noun

1. steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.: There is consistency in his pattern of behavior.
2. agreement, harmony, or compatibility, esp. correspondence or uniformity among the parts of a complex thing: consistency of colors throughout the house.
3. the condition of cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness.


Who ever has no fixed opinions has no constant feelings. --Joseph Joubert

I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows. --Drew Barrymore


One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest. --Maya Angelou

The word ‘consistency’ hit me this morning when I was thinking over some of the past few years of my life. We all enjoy it when our days are not plagued with constant reminders that we are infallible humans at the mercy of our circumstances. It is always nice when you get in the car in the morning to go to work and it starts or when your coffee pot makes our coffee for us in the morning. We enjoy relationships with those around us when their personalities align with our version of what it should be. As I always say: there is no reality only perception. Our version of the way things are is up for interpretation by those around us. When we do not have to deal with the occasional disruption to our lives we go along as planned without menacing emotions follwig us.

When adversity strikes and our lives seem out of control everyone reacts differently. Some get angry, some get drunk, some go into a cave while others seem to plug along with little disruption. I think that when we allow others to control how we react we are allowing them to control us—and I don’t know about you but I am not a huge fan of being controlled by others! Consistency is (as the definition states) a steadfast adherence and uniformity in our lives. When the foundation is shaken beneath us are we steadfast? Our attitudes are what determine how shaken we become; it is not the circumstance or person because we can only control ourselves!

When your partner overdraws the bank account do you immediately answer in anger? When someone is driving slowly when you’re in a hurry are you irritated and annoyed? If you’re in a hurry at the grocery store and the lines are slow and long do you react with contempt and dissatisfaction? When someone doesn’t agree with your opinion do you respond in hatred and become defensive?

It is inevitable that the waves of life will push us off track but consistency is more about us and how we react. Our loved ones depend on safety and security so part of that is being consistent in our actions. I used to make quick decisions but I have learned to think things over before reacting because it produces a more consistent reaction. My children and those close to me know that when they ask something of me that I will need some time to mull it over before I give them a final decision BUT when I give them that decision they know that my yes is yes and my no is no because I rarely change my mind. I found that delaying my reaction time has produced a bit more consistency for me (personally) and for those whom I love.

I would like to end this with a little story that I heard at a conference. The speaker told us about her (former) bad case of road rage. She would yell, scream, honk her horn and do other sorts of things when she came upon a bad driver. One day while sitting at work she received a call informing her that her mother had been rushed to the hospital and passed away. She immediately left her office, got in her car and headed to the hospital to be with her family. While driving to the hospital she noticed that others on the road were annoyed with her driving, she was driving slowly and only half paying attention to what she was doing. She began to contemplate about her own past driving which made her take into account what other drivers might have been thinking while she was spewing her anger at them. She realized that sometimes we have our own agenda and forget to account for what others might be dealing with in the process. We are often so focused on our own schedule that we disregard how we come across to others. If someone is having a bad day our reactions toward them could be adding to their discomfort. Next time you find yourself reacting in agitation with another, stop to think that they might have something unseen going on in their lives and provide a little comfort rather than transferring more darkness into their lives.