Forgiveness

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. ~Catherine Ponder


To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~Lewis B. Smedes

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time. ~Sara Paddison



Allow me to preface this writing that forgiveness is NOT something FOR anyone other than us. It does NOT release anyone from their wrongdoings but releases us from the destructiveness of bitterness. We cannot fully move on from ANY hurtful situation until we forgive.  I know this because I used to harbor a lot of unforgiveness which only created anger within me. It was a source of inner conflict which allowed the root of bitterness to take a huge toll on me. I was very unhappy and tried to medicate myself with food, shopping, busyness or anything else that might fill that void I was feeling. The bitterness made me angry, unhappy and made all of my relationships shallow and almost meaningless.  I was hollow and apathetic.

One Sunday morning I was sitting in church when the Pastor began to speak of forgiveness. I was struck by the power that unforgiveness had over me. It allowed others to control my joy, they had power OVER ME and they didn’t even know! At that moment I realized that I had to take control of myself and release their hold on my life. I did not have to confront them or tell them that I forgave them because they didn’t even know about the feelings I had. When I chose to forgive my life changed completely!

The release opened my heart and mind and allowed me to regain control of my life. Only then did my relationships begin to have depth and compassion. I learned that no one should have the power to control what I am feeling. Happiness is my own responsibility and I didn’t need them to do or say anything. I released them by writing them a letter and then throwing the letter away. There are many ways to get the feelings out but this was the best way for me. I needed to regurgitate my feelings in a way that helped get them out of my heart.

I now forgive others on the spot and I do not allow the root to take hold inside me. This allows me to have a sense of control over my feelings which also creates freedom within me. If you’re harboring unforgiveness take some time to think about what it’s doing in your life. Write it down, scream in the shower, type letters or whatever it takes to release the hold it has on your life. It’ll feel like a weight has been lifted from you, believe me I lived with that burden for many many years!