Perfection

The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.  - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

None of us is perfect - and that's OK.

Life is not about perfection - or a quest for perfection. Life is about enjoying what we have - for as long as we have it.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.  Thank you for visiting my blog!

Approval

I read the article "What Are They Thinking About Me?" this morning and I wanted to share the wonderful insights it brought. Please take a moment to read it, I cut and pasted the article below:


You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.  --Eleanor Roosevelt


Why should most people be thinking about you? They are far more concerned with what you are thinking about them to spend time thinking about you!


Right now, take a moment to ponder the question: "How would I feel and what would I do differently if I never thought about what people think of me?"


I pondered this question many years ago and discovered some things that changed my life:


•I discovered that I felt anxious whenever I worried about what someone thought of me, which made it impossible to be myself. As soon as I was concerned about their judgment or approval, I tried to become what I thought they wanted me to be to gain their approval. This made me so tense that even if I got their approval, I still felt bad.


•I discovered that I was drawn to being with judgmental people - people who were very much like my parents - and I was addicted to trying to get these judgmental people to approve of me. I saw that this was a dead end - that I had no control over getting judgmental and rejecting people to be loving and kind, and I stopped being drawn to these people.


•I discovered that even if I got their approval, it was always short-lived and I had to keep looking good and performing right to get it again. This was an exhausting way to live.


•I discovered that no matter how hard I worked on doing things right and being perfect and never making a mistake or failing, some people liked me and some didn't. I learned that if I was just myself and gave up being right and perfect, some people liked me and some didn't. I finally saw that trying so hard to get love or approval was a complete waste of my time and energy!


•I discovered that I was confusing love and approval. I learned that love is that which is unconditional and that people either gave it freely or they didn't and it was not something I could earn or control. I might be able to control getting some approval, but not love.


•I learned that, while approval felt good for the moment, it never fully filled me with love for myself, or confidence in myself.


•I discovered that when I gave myself the approval, love and attention that I was trying so hard to get from others, life became much easier and more fun!


By really paying attention to my feelings and actions, I was able to completely give up even thinking about what others thought of me. I discovered the truth of what Terry Cole Whitaker said in the title of her book, "What Others Think Of Me Is None Of My Business."


It is such a freedom to never think about what others think of me! I am free to speak my truth, to say yes or no according to what is in my highest good, to love with my whole heart and soul, to freely offer my gifts and talents, to trust my own feelings and higher guidance rather than buy into others' beliefs and opinions, to not be controlled by fear of making a mistake or fear of others' judgment, to laugh as loud as long as I want as I want, and to cry when I am hurting or moved.


I am free to love myself and share my love with others with no agenda regarding how they will feel about me, and this is the greatest joy of all.

Kindness

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.  ~Bob Hope


Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.  ~Jesse Jackson


A good character is the best tombstone.  Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered.  Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.  ~Charles H. Spurgeon


It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.  ~Author Unknown


Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are.  ~Author Unknown


What this world needs is a new kind of army - the army of the kind.  ~Cleveland Amory


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  ~Dalai Lama


I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.  ~Rudyard Kipling


Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.  ~Author Unknown


A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them.  ~Variation of a saying by Albert Einstein


Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.  ~Mark Twain


Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.  ~Seneca


There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life - reciprocity.  ~Confucius


Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how.  ~Author Unknown


The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.  ~Henry Boye


The best portion of a good man's life - his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.  ~William Wordsworth


You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.  ~Frank A. Clark


The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid.  ~Author Unknown


We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.  ~Epictetus


One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.  ~Malayan Proverb


Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.  ~Marian Wright Edelman


Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.  ~Leo Buscaglia

Weakness?

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive. --Unknown


Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.  --Ralph Waldo Emerson




The greatest weakness of all is the great fear of appearing weak.  --Lawrence G. Lovasik


So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof.  --J.F.K.


Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution.  --Kahlil Gibran


I get a newsletter from Dr. Margaret Paul of Inner Bonding and today's post really hit home for me.  I am a very tenderhearted person and I tend to think that I am weak because of this.  I am not weak but I do sometimes loose my sense of self-worth in people because I try to make those I care about happy.  I realize that I cannot MAKE others happy, that has to come from their own inner self.  I can control my own happiness by loving myself.  I think of the analogy of the airlines...put the mask on yourself before you help others.  I cannot help anyone else if I do not help myself first.

Take a moment to read the article:  Are Kindness and Tenderness Signs of Weakness?

Great?

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.- John D. Rockefeller

Always do what you are afraid to do.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.- Joseph Campbell

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
- Eddie Rickenbacker

Is your life "good enough" but not GREAT? What choices can you make TODAY to begin to make your life great?  I was reading Viktor Frankl's book (below) and he contends that happiness lies not in the circumstances but in our attitude toward our circumstances.  Frankl describes life in the concentration camps from a psychological prospective and how he and the other inmates found joy even in the worst of times.  I think that many of our lives pale in comparison to his ordeal, so how can we NOT find some joy in life?  There is always a reason for the hardships we endure but when going through them we (I) tend to get tunnel-vision and focus on the negative rather than what I can learn from the challenge.

Clarity

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

There is a road from the eye to heart that does not go through the intellect.  - Gilbert K. Chesterton

The eye sees what it brings the power to see. - Thomas Carlyle

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. - Anaïs Nin

We do not always see what is before our face - sometimes we see what we hope to see, or fear we will see.

Action

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.
- Dale Carnegie


Don't allow your fears to hold you back from accomplishments.  If we never make mistakes then we will never learn and grow!  Overcome the fear of decision-making and step out.  Sitting and waiting for things to happen only make our lives stagnant and un-enjoyable.

Forgiveness

The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart -- not from the mind.
- Sheri Rosenthal (www.journeysofthespirit.com)

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

Don't take anything personally.
- don Miguel Ruiz (this is the second of his Four Agreements)

Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is your gift to yourself - a great gift - the gift of happiness.  - Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
- Marianne Williamson

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
- Kent Keith (often attributed to Mother Teresa)

Forgive those who have injured you - not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because you can never be happy until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.  Forgiving is not saying that the action against you was OK but it is  ceasing to feel angry toward or seek retribution against someone who has wronged you.  Forgiveness is more about you than it is about anyone else.  When you harbor anger or resentment you are giving power to the person that wronged you.  Don't allow anyone to control you through anger build the bridge of total forgiveness today. 


Some forgiveness tips:  http://www.squidoo.com/loaandforgiveness; http://selfpersonal.com/blog/2010/12/inspirational-thoughts-forgiveness/