Numb

There's a smile on my face but I don't know why it's there... I put it on to satisfy all the people that don't even care. --Unknown

There's a smile on my face but I don't know why it's there... I put it on to satisfy all the people that don't even care. --Unknown

It rains the hardest on the people who deserve the most sunshine. --Unknown

When you talk about feelings, words were too stiff, they were this and not that, they couldn't include all the meanings. In defining, they always left something out. –Unknown

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.  I turned to look but it was gone, I cannot put my finger on it now.  The child is grown, the dream is gone.  I have become comfortably numb.  –Pink Floyd

Do you ever feel emotionally numb?  In a recent post I talked about the Persona and what we do to mask the feelings that we truly do (or do NOT) feel.  Lately I have been feeling somewhat numb to the world.  I’m not sure if it is because life has been too busy or if life is just too overwhelming.  It just seems that when things are going well the rug gets pulled out and all hell breaks loose.  I’m not sure if it is just a valley or that I never really made it to the mountain-top.  Have I been seeing something that was not there?  Did I do something to make adversity a way of life? I ask myself these questions because I think that sometimes I numb myself to life rather than face the truth of situations.  I sometimes I try to control things that are out of my control.  When someone pushes me away or acts differently I begin to shield myself from being hurt therefore become numb to any emotion.  Do I put on a new mask and try to become something that I am not?  Is this just my ‘bubble’ where I have learned to become comfortable?  I am not a depressive person, I have never been, but when things seem to be going awry I pull myself away emotionally.  I would not call it depression but a protective stance that I begin to take when I’m not feeling secure.  I am also not one to bring others down with me nor am I one who seeks pity so I tend to go into a shell and protect myself from the world.  Looking back on my life I think that it has been something that I have always done.  I tend to overanalyze situations and see things that are not there, making myself feel as though the situation was something that I could have avoided.  I don’t know maybe I just need some sleep and time to reflect to ensure that life is heading in the right direction?