Monday, March 26, 2018

Passion



pas·sion
/’paSHən/

Noun

  1. strong and barely controllable emotion.
  2. a state or outburst of strong emotion.
  3. an intense desire or enthusiasm for something.
  4. a thing arousing enthusiasm.
  
There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. ~Nelson Mandela

If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. ~Wanda Sykes

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. ~Oprah Winfrey

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ~Harriet Tubman

This week, I wanted to talk about how to create passion, how live life on purpose.  This is such an important idea in life because many people wait for something outside themselves to happen before they take action.  Passion is an inside job, it is not something that we find outside ourselves.  Finding your passion and learning what drives us to get out of bed in the morning is SO important otherwise, we are dreading Monday morning or any day of the week because we are just existing.  Passion is a skill that we teach ourselves, living our dreams instead of doing what is necessary.  We have to teach ourselves to live each day on purpose.  Many ask, HOW do I FIND my passion?  How do I get passionate about my life?

There is a ton of information out there about finding your passion and finding your purpose but much of that information is about finding something outside yourself to give you that passion, fire, or drive.  Finding purpose outside of our self is easy but if you are truly trying to feel better about yourself and your life, things outside of you will never give you that fuzzy feeling long-term.  Sometimes these external things will suffocate you and will actually steal the joy that you once had.  We are born with an innate gift, a purpose for our existence.  If we are constantly putting ourselves down then we will squelch our drive and lose sight of the ultimate goal.

This is what we do in our relationships, our jobs, our hobbies, etc.  We get that ‘warm fuzzy’ and think that this external thing will give us that feeling forever but when the spark withers, so do we.  Your job will never make you truly happy.  Your partner will never make you truly happy.  Your hobby will never make you truly happy.  All of these things have frustrating moments and frustrating times.  If you are trying to generate happiness and passion from external things then you will eventually feel lost and unfulfilled and give up.  If you find ‘that’ thing that generates passion deep inside you then you are one step ahead of the game but if you expect to KEEP that drive and passion then you have to do the work from the inside out.

First, think about where does your passion and drive come from and what is it?  What does that passion feel like?  Does it make you excited and enthusiastic about life?  Does it make you feel alive?  Do you feel the drive in your gut, in your head, or in your heart?  Does this passion motivate you?  Passion is a feeling, an emotion.  Emotions and feelings are not permanent residents, they change over time.  If you stop that FEELING then you start beating yourself up and then your passion and drive go down the tubes and you will give up.  If the passion is something that is intrinsically motivating us, something that is natural then it just happens.  True passion is not something that goes away when we get frustrated or angry.

Think about it this way, when you met your partner or landed that ‘dream’ job the passion was just THERE.  You did not have to do anything to make yourself get goo-goo over it or anything that you had to do to be intentional about making things happen.  Over time, we get frustrated, angry, bogged down with the negative stuff and that goo-goo feeling goes away.  This is the time that we have to really THINK and be clear about our passions.  If you felt that fuzzy feeling in the beginning was this feeling really a passion or just an excitement about something new?  If you have lost that spark, make a list of the reasons.  Why have you lost it?  If you write these things down, you might truly see why your passion is gone and why it left?  Was it an external feeling in the beginning or something inside that motivated you?

Natural passions are automatic, it is internal programming from our brains that tells us THIS IS IT!  I am passionate about learning why people do the things that they do and why they act in a certain way.  I have trained my brain to understand these things, I research, I read, I think about these things constantly.  I think about these things enough that I automatically know the reasons for someone’s actions--well, to some degree, not all human actions are the same but you get my drift.  It is natural for me to think in this way, it is my passion and purpose in life to help others to understand their motivations and to understand what drives them.  If we constantly and consistently think a certain way or think certain thoughts then we begin to believe them.  We will experience the emotions behind those thoughts (thoughts create emotions) and it will be natural, with very little effort to feel alive.  We have to take deliberate actions to create this thinking in order for them to become automatic.  At times, we have to consciously create our thoughts until they are ingrained in our being.

If you are wondering where that passion went and at what point did I become lost, you have to first understand why.  As I mentioned before, make a list.  Are your partner’s habits that were once ‘cute,’ just an annoyance now? Is your job something that you dread because there is so much aggravation attached to it now?  If you are constantly thinking negatively, find out why but do so without judgement.  Think about your current beliefs attached to this ‘thing’ that once was a driving force in your life but now just seems like a chore.  Why has this ‘thing’ become such a thorn in your side?  Why did you lose the passion and drive?  In order to understand why you are feeling stuck, you have to figure out what got you stuck and why your thinking changed. 

Think about your perfect life and WHY you feel like this would be perfect for you.  If there were no doubt that you could achieve this life, how would that feel?  What would you be doing?  What do you truly want in your life and how does that look and feel inside your body?  If you remove all doubts, what would success look and feel like to you?  If there were no obstacles, what great things could you achieve?  Thinking in this way opens your mind to living your dreams. 

If you can change the way you THINK about things then it opens up new and exciting possibilities for you and your life.  If you still have fears and doubts, do it anyway.  If you approach life with new thinking then you will see everything differently and live your life on purpose.  Think amazing thoughts and ending possibilities instead of self-doubt and fear removes the obstacles in your mind and the rest follows.  Of course, our mind does not like change so this will take some time to really get ingrained in your psyche but keep going, keep training your mind to think differently and explore those possibilities.  Our minds like to feel like they are safe, we are built to be consistent and live in patterns but we can train our brain to evolve if we learn how to manage our thought patterns. 

We can create these new thoughts but first we have to think about what we really want, how we want to feel, and what our passions are and how they will be a driving force in our lives.  Thoughts and beliefs create momentary happiness but if we study our thought patterns then we will be able to imagine the possibilities ahead of us.  Think about a time when you cannot WAIT to get out of bed in the morning.  Think about the passion that feeling had on you, what it felt like, and why. Think about the enthusiasm that burns inside when you find your WHY.  When you think thoughts that generate passion then you will start living in that feeling and practicing those things.  Remember, that in the beginning of this process it will not be natural to think in this way but you have to make it a habit and practice it in order for it to be natural.  If you make negative thoughts and complaining a habit, that is what your body will feel every day.  If you make positive thoughts and passion a habit then THAT is what you will feel and that is what your mind will think.

It may feel weird or awkward at first but keep practicing until it is natural and effortless.  You may stumble but do not give up!  You will eventually feel confidence and that will change your life.  Your self-worth will return, you will not feel stuck, you will have self-discipline, you will feel power, and all of these things create passion.  Achieving your dreams matters!  Everything that you want in your life is achievable as long as we change how we think and changing how we think will ultimately change how you feel (thoughts create feelings).  If we accept that the reason that we do not achieve things is because we are not good enough, do not have the resources, it will be too difficult, etc. then we have lost sight of our passion and life will feel like drudgery instead of fulfilling. Do not miss out on this beautiful thing called life because you are afraid to fail or are not sure how or where to begin.

This week, journal about:

  • What is your passion?
  • What does your perfect life look and feel like?
  • What can you do to make this happen?
  • How can you change that self-doubt into a purpose?
  • How can you overcome fears and do it anyway?

Live your life on purpose instead of just reacting to what life throws at you!  Be willing to do the work and put in the effort to create your life, show up everyday to create that life.  If you are not sure where or how to begin, contact me today to set up your free coaching session and to learn how we can work together to make that happen! 

On a side note, I will be posting some free stuff here very soon, first will be a FREE journal for my readers.  Lots of exiting thing coming so, stay tuned!!

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