Gone

It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.  I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.  All I can do is reach for it, myself.  ~Joyce Maynard

It has been such a long time since I composed a blog entry…2011…that is TOO long!  This is my outlet for getting things off my chest and trying to understand life.  I have been very busy over the course of the last few years…graduated with two Bachelor’s degrees, working on my Master’s degrees, raising teenage girls, working, trying to ‘gel’ a family together, and just life in general.  In my down time, (if there is any) I just like to decompress and relax…or take a NAP!  The last few years have been more than hectic, at best, but I am hoping that 2014 brings some much-needed peace.

As a mother, I will always worry about my children no matter how old they get.  I want them to be successful and change the world.  The teen years (especially the upper teen years, from 16-19) are challenging because my role changes from caregiver to guide.  This has been a transition period for all of us and, at times, has been an enlightening experience for everyone.  I have learned (and am still learning) how to let go and allow them to make their own choices.  It has been the MOST difficult time for me, watching them make their own choices with little to no experience at life.  I try to guide and nurture without being too directive but I often fail.

I was once given advice to ‘throw stones in the water’ and allow them to make decisions based on my roundabout advice.  This means to ask them…what do you think about such-and-such and then let them do with it, as they will.  You see, by throwing the stone in the water we give a very small snippet of advice and allow the ripples to move away from the impact zone.  This allows them (the child/teen) to critically think about what you have said.  I think this was wise counsel because most of the time it has worked.

I have watched my children grow and blossom into varying stages of maturity.  It is difficult as a parent to allow the world to teach them the tough lessons in life and for them not to glean from your own experience.  I remember when I was their age I wanted to just be done with parents and try life on my own.  Some of the lessons were more difficult than others but I have learned from experience that parents always have their children’s best interests at heart.  Do not get me wrong, I am VERY proud of my children and I will always be their biggest fan but trying to guide them when they are not listening is very frustrating!  I still do not have it all figured out but I guess that if we are always open to being a student and to learn, we are on the right track!

Here’s to a great year in 2014 and to learning as we go along.