Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Choices


There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.  --Unknown


The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.  -- George Eliot

It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.  -- Joanne Kathleen Rowling


There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.  -- Denis Waitley


What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.  -- Leo Buscaglia


You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are. -- Edgar A. Guest


I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude.  –Unknown


I haven’t done much writing lately because I have been in a holiday-induced-funk.  I tend to get this way weeks before Thanksgiving.  I’m not sure what puts me in this cloud other than choices that I’m trying to sort-out.  I sometimes tend to over-think when I am trying to make decisions, which is sometimes good and sometimes bad.  When I stand at the crossroads of life I know that no matter what choice I make I will lose the ability to go back.  I really like the poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken:



Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

This is a wonderful poetic example about how our choices in life are sometimes the road that others might not choose.  I like the ability to choose but sometimes our choices are at the mercy of others.  We cannot change the minds of others but we can learn to live with their choices and how they affect our lives.  We have to make the conscious choice to be happy in spite of them.
When we focus on performance to be happy we will often fall-short.  When we focus on our inner being for happiness we will behave differently, joyously.  When we try to control others is when we begin to lose our joy.  We try to control (or lessen) the pains of life however this does not bring joy either.  We must learn from all things that happen, the joys and pains.  There is always something positive to see in every situation no matter how bleak it might seem at that moment.  


We cannot focus on where we are going because it makes the journey less joyous.  We must live in the moment headed down the path we have chosen and align our beliefs with our choices. 
Happiness is a choice we make every day when our eyes open each morning.  We have to love those that are accepting and even those that are not.  Sometimes we have to just accept what happens and move on in life rather than dwell in the past.  I heard a quote when I was a child that has always stuck with me:  A ship that sails backwards never sees the sunrise.  We cannot live in the past because we will never be able to move into the future if we stay there.  We all have made mistakes but learning from them and moving on is what life is about.  We have to enjoy where we are before we can see what our future might hold.  We cannot hide from choices because not choosing is a choice.


Here is a good article about choosing happiness:  http://www.innerbonding.com/show-article/2685/the-happiness-choice.html



Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Change





The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.  ~William Blake


He who rejects change is the architect of decay.  The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.  ~Harold Wilson


What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.  ~Pauline R. Kezer


Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends some thing.  ~Paul Valery


Change is often met with much resistance because it creates a sense of anxiety and can often lead to misunderstandings and disagreements.  The participants of changing behaviors need to understand that change is a chance to grow and develop in healthy ways.  Change is and can be a positive thing but sometimes change does not mean doing things differently it means changing our attitudes and beliefs.

Change is not always viewed as a positive thing and the biggest challenge will be to embrace the challenges ahead and see that even if the changes do not lead to positive outcomes at least you will be challenged to think in different ways.  The core of the matter is changing behavior which is done by appealing emotional connections and reframing thought patterns.   When moving towards a goal then resistance can be minimized when emotional connections are made.   Change is not static so keeping this in perspective can be an important factor in the end.

Resistance is defined by Alvin Zander, an early researcher on the subject, as “behavior which is intended to protect and individual from the effectives of real or imagined change”.  Others define resistance as any form of behavior that maintains the status quo when faced with pressure to alter the status quo.  Resistance is not simply a refusal to participate but it is a cognitive state that is driven by negative perceptions.  These negative thoughts can be overcome by understanding resistance and overcoming fears and frustrations.  Resistance is oftentimes not an intentional defiance but a perceived threat. 

In summation, change is an active agent and should be embraced with the understanding that not all changes will be successful and sometimes you will fail.  Mistakes and failures are part of life so you just have to pick yourself up and try again, reframing your thought patterns with the newfound knowledge.   Forward thinkers are those who are willing to accept a degree of tolerance and pay the price of efficiency to learn new skills and techniques.  Change is a part of the culture so if you’re not willing to adapt and overcome challenges then you will remain static in life….and is that truly living?


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Affirmations





We may not always be aware of it, but we all create and repeat affirmations constantly. The problem is, we typically don't pay attention to exactly what those affirmations are saying. Often we go through the day giving ourselves all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages. We may project confidence to the world around us, while our inner dialogue says... I hope this works. I am so nervous about this. I hope I don't blow it. Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies. If we say, This is never going to work... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf





Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Quotes





Sharing some of my favorite quotes today...


Live this one as it was the last...leave no kind word un said. --Andrew Bailey

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. --Abraham Lincoln

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato 

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. --Eleanor Roosevelt

We need never be ashamed of our tears. --Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us. --Charlotte Bronte

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. --Cherie Carter-Scott, "If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules"

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. -- Emily Dickinson

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives. --A. Sachs

Children might or might not be a blessing, but to create them and then fail them was surely damnation. --Lois McMaster Bujold, "Barrayar", 1991



NEW WEBSITE!!

I finally did it, I have my OWN domain and website.  This blog will remain open but I will be moving content over to the new website and add...