Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Smile!



Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.  ~Author Unknown

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. ~Jim Beggs


A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.  ~Author Unknown

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.  ~Author Unknown

Smile - sunshine is good for your teeth. ~Author Unknown

The shortest distance between two people is a smile. ~Author Unknown

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to. ~Author UnknownDo you know that smiling raises your frequency? Do you know what makes you smile?


You're never fully dressed without a smile. ~Martin Charnin

A smile can brighten the darkest day. ~Author Unknown

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. ~Author Unknown

Smiling is infectious,
You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today,
And I started smiling too.
~Author Unknown


This week, notice that the moment you are genuinely thankful for something, or appreciate someone or something, you smile. The moment you see the essence of a person or a pet, you smile. The moment you feel love for someone or something, you smile.

This week, consciously be thankful and appreciative and notice how much better you feel!
 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Birthday


And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.  -Abraham Lincoln

Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.  -Unknown

The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.  -Pope Paul VI

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  - Lucille Ball

Another year has passed and much has happened.  I can say that my life is better this birthday than it has ever been before.  I am truly blessed beyond measure.  I have learned that true joy is not found in the pursuit of possessions or cash.  Happiness comes from rich and fulfilling relationships.  Seeing The Man and my children smile is more than I could have ever hoped for today.  Thank God for allowing me to have another year on this earth and thank you for bringing such wonderful people to share my life with.  I do not lie about my age but embrace the lessons that life has given me and look forward to what the next year has to offer.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Labels



Because you grasp labels and slogans,
You are hindered by
Those labels and slogans,
Both those used in
Ordinary life and those
Considered sacred.
Thus they obstruct your
Perception of objective truth,
And you cannot understand clearly. – Linji (d. 867)


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Beauty


A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness. - John Keats

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. - Kahlil Gibran

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
 
- Franz Kafka
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread. - John Muir


Today is the first day of Fall, the trees are beginning to change color and there is a crispness in the air.  I have tried to train my eyes to focus on the beauty in the world rather than the 'other' things.  It has been and still is a learning process but I find that when I look for good my days seem to go much better.  In past years I have not lived this way but since I refocused my attention I see the difference in my thought patterns and moods.


Try to step back from the issues and cares of the world to see the beauty.  Not just outward beauty and things that you can see with your eyes but things that you can feel inside.  Try to see something good even when someone is not being as pleasing as you would like.  Maybe they have an underlying issue that is plaguing them?  Maybe they are just having a rough day.  Try to brighten the world with beauty that you have inside.  Change the world, one smile at a time.


Truth and Beauty; Poetry and Prose About Life, Love, Friendship and Other Relationships


Thursday, September 16, 2010

Relationships


Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is a very old human need. ~  Margaret Mead
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. ~ Anthony Robbins
The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships. ~  Anthony Robbins
True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don’t believe that this condition is permanent. ~  Erwin T. Randall
Present your family and friends with their eulogies now – they won’t be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin.  ~  Anonymous
Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. ~ Stephen R. Covey
A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.
~  Rainer Maria Rilke

Courage means to keep working a relationship, to continue seeking solutions to difficult problems, and to stay focused during stressful periods.
~  Denis Waitley

A relationship isn’t going to make me survive. It’s the cherry on top.  ~  Jennifer Aniston
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  ~  Alexandria Penney


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Open-minded



An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it- Unknown

You can have such an open mind that it is too porous to hold a conviction.  -- George Crane

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head- Unknown

Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart.”  --Phil Jackson

Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out. – Unknown

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to have an open mind after the news story last week.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our own logic that we start to stereotype others becoming biased in our opinions.  I think that one should not completely dismiss claims of truth however we should analyze the claim and consider the evidence before we make decisions.  When considering a debate take into account that not everyone is open to new thoughts nor are they unbiased in their opinions.  If new ideas are weighed against evidence and found to be true then we should be open to changing our opinions.  Being open-minded does not mean that you believe everything you hear, that’s just being gullible, not open but we also have to be willing to change and adapt to new situations.  Someone once told me that people don’t care what you think until they think that you care.  Try not to force opinions on others, just show them you care and have an open heart to them.  I think that if others know that you are honest then they will be open to consider your thoughts and opinions.

If found a good writing on the subject:  Keeping An Open Mind  by Steven Novella    



Monday, September 13, 2010

Friends


A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.  --Unknown


Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. --Unknown


A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.  --Unknown


A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.  -- Bernard Meltzer


True friends stab you in the front. --Oscar Wilde


Friends are a very important part of our lives.  I am on the Straightforward, Inc. mailing list and I received a great one today.  I just wanted to share, enjoy!



10 Ways To Spot A Fake Friend

Scott Bolan Speaks:

We must be careful and diligent in choosing our friends. The most important factor is trustworthiness, and when you find your trust was misplaced, the consequences can range from disappointment to disaster and can be heart-breaking.

Recently a long-time friend and colleague revealed a hidden negativity towards me. It saddened me, but I did not miss the learnings, so I am thankful for the experience.

As always, my intuition had warned me several times, but I failed to listen to it. My intuition has never failed me, but I have failed it.

Intuition is not a hunch or a strong deep feeling. Intuition is a knowing that requires no thought, energy, or reflection, and usually hardly any action at all.

There are ways to develop your intuition: prayer (ask for it), Meditation, Mushin (the mind/no mind state found in the Samurai scripts), Ninja Mind Power, learning the higher states of objective/rational positional thinking as opposed to subjective/obsessive positional thinking.

For today, here are 10 ways you can spot a friend whose integrity is in decline and may be getting ready to bite.

But first, check your pride: if you have truly wronged someone, always be the first to admit it and sincerely apologize.

This is the wise and timeless Christian ethic of treating others as you would want to be treated.

And remember, a friend who is not transparent and trustworthy, and who does not reciprocate your caring, is a fake friend. Care for those who truly care for you, and let the rest go.

Now here are 10 ways to spot a fake friend:

1. Auditory: Short, curt, distant and agitated tones (you can tell they have something to say but aren't saying it. The reason for this is that their conscience is conflicted; their subconscious knows they are wrong, but their pride is searching for an excuse to oppose you. Until they find the excuse, they lay in waiting like a viper coiled on a limb)

2. Visual: Beady, shifty eyes. For the same reasons listed above, their eyes become beady and almost animal-like. They begin accessing their memory (lower left) where they have 'created' past justifications of disliking/betraying you, they can also access their imagination (right or upper right) to reach and create.

3. Kinesthetic: Body language and Energy. They begin to appear shifty and uncomfortable around you. You can tell they're preoccupied. You'll start to detect a certain lack of natural comfort.

4. Breathing: their breathing may become noticeable, and a very slight sheen of sweat on the skin. They may pause, look down and take a breath, before speaking to you, as if they're subconsciously trying to 'get ready' to tell you something.

5. Life Circumstance: Incidents of friendship betrayal are often surrounded by economic factors and related stress and duress. If you find yourself happy and doing well, don't be surprised if some friends start to accuse you of being fake or doing wrong.

It's because of their own limiting beliefs and personal choices that they are in a struggle, but rather than recognize that and change their beliefs and make better choices, people tend to cling to previous programming such as 'money is evil' etc

Rather than being rational and sober in thought, they resent that you have more than they do, so they smugly figure that you must have cheated or been helped by a rich uncle to get success, not seeing the years of patience and toil it took you to get there.

An example: many many years ago I financed a small red sports car on monthly payments I could afford, since I was doing okay in my business at the time.

I also had a buddy who was into weightlifting and body-building and we spent an entire summer every single evening at the gym. I've been a martial artist since the age of 8, but had never once lifted weights, so he got me started in weightlifting (and I've never stopped since).

By the end of the summer I was looking pretty ripped. Not an Arnold, but stronger and more built than I had ever been. We went to a restaurant and ran into some guys we knew from high school a few years prior. Their remarks were things like "Oh, nice car, your daddy must be rich." And "Oh, you've been taking steroids."

You see, their minds were looking for the way that we MUST have cheated to get our success. People like that will always make an excuse for not making it, falsely claiming the moral high ground, and they will always try to shoot you down when you make it.

Negative thinkers always look for what's wrong, and they always 'find' it, most often by creating it in their own minds and clinging to it with pride.

I worked hard for a ripped physique every night at the gym while they were fooling around wasting time. I earned every penny of that car myself working hard every morning and afternoon. I never have taken a steroid in my life (I hear they make your balls shrivel up and that's just not something I'm willing to risk)

Negative people think and work this way and look out, they may be right under your nose and you may not know it!

And chances are, if you're a compassionate person who likes to help others like I am, you can try to offer them good advice, but in almost all cases, they will not listen and may even resent you for it.

Pride and Envy are almost inseparable; they go hand in hand, in order to conceal each other. Envy is a demon that uses pride to go undetected.

6. The Law of concentrated attention: When you discover they have been unduly concentrating on you in an imbalanced way, you can be certain something is wrong with the relationship.

When a person concentrates on an idea, the idea tends to manifest itself. Remember that thoughts and behaviors become habitual through repetition.

An agitated/antagonistic thinker will repeat to themselves all of the things about you they perceive to be offensive, in order to reinforce to themselves that they are "right."

We can learn this for ourselves so that we don't make the same mistake: if it takes pressure effort or constant reinforcement to convince yourself that you're right... then you're not!

When you're truly right, you're at peace with yourself and with the world, and even with those who you believe have done you wrong.

7. The law of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: R.K. Merton, Sociology Professor at Columbia University, stated that when we predict an event, the expectation of the event changes our behavior in such a way to make the event more likely to happen.

According to Merton, the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition or belief about a situation. This false belief causes a new behavior that makes the false belief come true.

So your betraying friend will, in his mind, compile a "shit list" to justify his self-informed prejudice and feel secure. That is the secret pleasure people unknowingly get out of sitting in the Judgment Seat.

It's why public lynchings and feeding people to the lions in ancient Rome were so popular. Humans want others to be as they expect them to be - it makes us feel more secure.

In NLP this is sometimes referred to as "Perception is Projection" Meaning we project out onto the world and others, all of our unresolved "stuff." Whether you like it or not, let's face it, we humans do it all the time.

Remember also that in the battle between Imagination and Logic, Imagination will almost always win! That's why the world is in such bad shape and people are so nuts - they aren't aware that they themselves hold the power to direct their imagination for a good result by design, so they let it control them through emotion ego and impulse by default.

How to protect yourself from this danger: Imagine only what is good, clean, powerful and positive, AND, Know when you are imagining.

Take volitional control of your Imagination by Imagining "How" as in "How can I...." for a goal or positive purpose, rather than "Why" as in "Why did I.., why did they..."

You now have the power to use this vital tool of Imagination for good results.

8. The Character Test: Self-Responsibility. People who take responsibility for their own lives and circumstances are generally those with good lives and good character. They are the friends you want.

When you have the type of friends who blame others - God, the economy, the government, their childhood, etc, once they run out of things to blame, they'll pick you. So look closely at how friends talk and think and make sure they tend to have a self-responsible worldview.

9. Smug Self-Righteousness: Notice if they are constantly claiming the moral high ground, quoting scripture, and taking pleasure in pointing the bony finger of contention. That's a huge red flag of a friend about to flip. Remember, the only one anyone should ever be pointing at, the one God gave you to work on, is the one in the mirror.

10. Refusal to be held accountable: when you call them on their bullshit, and provide logical evidence to refute them, they'll clam up. This is pride looking for something to eat, and finding the fridge empty.

Give them a little time and they may come out of it. In the end, if they don't, let them go and bless them and move on. Resentment is a dangerous and highly addictive drug that is almost impossible to detect when you are under its influence. It will impair your judgment and hinder your results.

Whatever demon of delusion is in your former friend, wants to get inside you too, and the only way it can do that is if you resent it.

Upon reading this you can easily look back and recognize these traits in former friends or associates who betrayed you or went sour. After reading this, you are now prepared to recognize and prevent them from affecting you.

So what's the best thing to do if a friend betrays you?

1. If your friend lied, even if he believes the lies as true, give him the truth, but without argument.

The beauty of email is that it can't escalate into a shouting match. Don't argue; simply lay out facts in black and white objectively and simply as possible.

This is the loving thing to do. Being a true friend sometimes means pointing out that no, the emperor’s
new clothes are not lovely and in fact the emperor has no clothes at all.

This must always be done without emotional heat. If you lose it, raise your voice or return personal insults for personal insults, you just got directed to dance and you are under the control of another. Being directed to dance means you become subjective, instead of objective. Never lose objectivity to emotional
heat.

2. Once you've done that, let it go. Do not chase it. Years ago on Fox's "No Spin Zone," Bill O'Reilly gave some great advice: He said,

"I have a no-spin zone for friends - I call them twice, if they don't call me back, that's it, it's over."

Great advice, Bill!

You do not want friends you have to constantly argue or plead with. They are energy vampires. And, arguing common sense really is a fool's errand. You'll find these types of friends will even resent you for giving them good advice. Who really needs friends like that?

3. After you've discovered a false friend, take time to reflect on all of your relationships and make sure they are of true character. Those that are, reach out to them. Those that aren't, let them go quickly and certainly. Don't explain, just simply let them fade.

4. Become grateful for the true friends and family you do have. It's about quality, not quantity. It's about shared sincerity and genuineness, not dogmas and familiarity. Reach out to them for support. Remember that Humble Gratitude unlocks the gates of heaven more than any other attitude.

Wisdom and Courage,

Scott Bolan

PS My "Ninja Secrets for the Modern Man" course gives you multiple ways to Know what you need to know, so you really can get what you want. It's on sale for only 20 bucks until the end of the month. Get it here


Ninja Secrets for the Modern Man

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Acceptance

You can't be everything to everyone. - Anonymous

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone. - Bill Cosby

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. - William Shakespeare 




This is an excellent response to what I was talking about yesterday in my post Hatred.

New Songs Of Praise: A Christian Response to the Mosque at Ground Zero: "What would Jesus do today? What would he say about a group of his followers in Florida who are planning to burn copies of the Koran, the Isl..."


I also received a great reading today in Our Daily Bread about Love.


Why is it that we think so highly of ourselves that we cannot accept others?  We are all without fault and no matter how religious or good you are you still have faults.  I have PLENTY!  The good thing about being fallable is that we don't have to act as though we are perfect.  How about some GRACE and ACCEPTANCE?  Instead of trying to put on a mask, try being who you are and accept others as they are.  Our differences are what make us unique, which is a good thing!  When God sculpted you He broke the mold for a reason.  Try to see others as they are and accept their good and not-so-good qualities.  If nothing else we will learn some character which will mold us into better people!?


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hatred


We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.  --Jonathan Swift


Hate is too great a burden to bear.  It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.  --Coretta Scott King


Ok, I'm shocked at the amount of hatred that comes from the church.  I saw this:  Even pastor’s old church condemns Quran-burning on Yahoo! today and I cannot believe what I'm reading! I am a living, breathing beliver myself but to say that Jesus came to this earth to condemn others just makes me angry!  How can the church attract people if they are scaring people into the pews?  Fear does not draw, love does!  I did a search for 'hatred' and found an interesting article:  The Origin of Hatred.  Were we not commanded to love one another?!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Relationships




Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is a very old human need. ~  Margaret Mead
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. ~ Anthony Robbins
The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships. ~  Anthony Robbins
True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don’t believe that this condition is permanent. ~  Erwin T. Randall
Present your family and friends with their eulogies now – they won’t be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin.  ~  Anonymous
Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. ~ Stephen R. Covey
A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.
~  Rainer Maria Rilke
Courage means to keep working a relationship, to continue seeking solutions to difficult problems, and to stay focused during stressful periods.
~  Denis Waitley
A relationship isn’t going to make me survive. It’s the cherry on top.  ~  Jennifer Aniston
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  ~  Alexandria Penney

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Numb



There's a smile on my face but I don't know why it's there... I put it on to satisfy all the people that don't even care. --Unknown

There's a smile on my face but I don't know why it's there... I put it on to satisfy all the people that don't even care. --Unknown

It rains the hardest on the people who deserve the most sunshine. --Unknown

When you talk about feelings, words were too stiff, they were this and not that, they couldn't include all the meanings. In defining, they always left something out. –Unknown

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.  I turned to look but it was gone, I cannot put my finger on it now.  The child is grown, the dream is gone.  I have become comfortably numb.  –Pink Floyd

Do you ever feel emotionally numb?  In a recent post I talked about the Persona and what we do to mask the feelings that we truly do (or do NOT) feel.  Lately I have been feeling somewhat numb to the world.  I’m not sure if it is because life has been too busy or if life is just too overwhelming.  It just seems that when things are going well the rug gets pulled out and all hell breaks loose.  I’m not sure if it is just a valley or that I never really made it to the mountain-top.  Have I been seeing something that was not there?  Did I do something to make adversity a way of life?

I ask myself these questions because I think that sometimes I numb myself to life rather than face the truth of situations.  I sometimes I try to control things that are out of my control.  When someone pushes me away or acts differently I begin to shield myself from being hurt therefore become numb to any emotion.  Do I put on a new mask and try to become something that I am not?  Is this just my ‘bubble’ where I have learned to become comfortable? 

I am not a depressive person, I have never been, but when things seem to be going awry I pull myself away emotionally.  I would not call it depression but a protective stance that I begin to take when I’m not feeling secure.  I am also not one to bring others down with me nor am I one who seeks pity so I tend to go into a shell and protect myself from the world.  Looking back on my life I think that it has been something that I have always done.  I tend to overanalyze situations and see things that are not there, making myself feel as though the situation was something that I could have avoided.  I don’t know maybe I just need some sleep and time to reflect to ensure that life is heading in the right direction?


NEW WEBSITE!!

I finally did it, I have my OWN domain and website.  This blog will remain open but I will be moving content over to the new website and add...